Genesis

Shh!! And stop calling on the devil

2009-05-07T03:04:00.010-04:00

It was suppose to be a movie night but what I walked into was a devil casting, tongue speaking and feet stamping prayer session. I did a double take to make sure I was at the right place. Of course I was because Kemi and Tolani were standing in one corner of the room, probably mad as hatters. I had convinced them the previous night to come out for the movie night. I wondered how a movie night turned into a night vigil? If Mobola wanted to have a prayer night, all she was suppose to do was ask. Although, I don’t think I would have showed up if I knew this was going to be an Iso oru[1]. I can pray without ceasing but omo not tonight. I was tired.

As I walked across the living room to meet Kemi, Mobola's mother passed to me a white handkerchief, “fi bori e” [2] she said. I threw the cloth over the top of my head and tied it at the back while I said breathe prayers to God to take control of the situation going on in the living room. I managed to get to Kemi then whispered

“What happened? I thought u guys were watching Twilight? How did this become a night vigil? Where is Mobola?”

“It was a movie night until 30 minutes ago. Mobola's youngest sister – I don’t remember her name….”

“Korede” I interjected

“Yes... that one, she sha fell asleep and then we heard her screaming Jesus over and over again”

“Kilode”?[3]

“She believed she was bound by the devil”

“Bound by the devil ke? I don’t understand.”

“She said when she woke up, she was unable to move or speak for 5 minutes. It was as if she was frozen and something heavy was sitting on her chest. oh... she also said she saw a vampire in the room.”

I chuckled... “Which one? Jasper Cullen”

“Stop laughing because it's not funny. Their mother even broke the DVD into pieces”

“Stop it, you are lying”

“okay oh... shebi you have eyes, look over there now” she pointed to the broken dvd pieces laying on the carpet

“Ladies, please let's be of one accord. The devil is always looking for whom to devour. please stop talking and let the holy ghost do his job” Mobola's mother spoke

For reasons unknown to me, I stayed and prayed with them for 10 minutes before i took my leave. I would have thought in a household filled with registered and license practical nurses, someone should have known that what happened to Korede was Sleep Paralysis .

But as usual, ignorant culture took over

I am still shaking my head

________________

[1] Night Vigil

[2] Cover your head with it

[3] What happened

Their Dream

2009-01-27T12:01:00.002-05:00

Hers

He shot her. He shot her three times, once in the chest and twice in the stomach. He then dragged her by her hair to the living room where his mother sat weeping. He pointed to his mother then said “look at my mother, are you happy now? This is what you have always wanted, isn’t it?” He then pushed her away and stared out the window while she bled and his mother wept.

She woke up with the pain in her stomach, the dream had felt so real and alive. He was lying beside her face up with one hand to his chest and the other hanging by the side of the bed. If it wasn’t for the sound of his snore, she won’t have known he was asleep. His eyes were half opened, jerking back and forth; a sign that tell he is in REM sleep. Dreaming. She looked at the clock and it says 4:30am; in fours hours, they will be on their way to the court house to get married. Last week, she had given him an ultimatum. “Choose one” she said “its either me or your mother”.

Last night he chose her. He chose her not only over his mother but his whole family. For the reason being that his father had supported his mother and his sisters supported their father.

Before she left his house at 5:02 am, she wrote him a note. “Honey, we can wait. Lets see if they will come around”.

His

The stream was fast rising. He needed to get both of them to the other side but there was no boat around. Suddenly he saw one, though it was full, he still hailed it. He recognized her parents and siblings, “we only have room for one “her father said. “Let her come in and you wait for your parents, their boat is coming behind us”. She climbed into the boat without question, not even to ask if he will be okay by himself. And off their boat went. He looked the other way just in time to see his parent’s boat “Mami, please I need a ride” he called out to his mother. “we have no more room. But since I can swim better than you, why don’t you take my space and I will swim to shore”. He was grateful for his mother’s suggestion and willing to comply. But just then, his father pulled his mother back into the boat and said “No, let him swim to the shore, remember he told us to mind our business in his affairs”.

He woke up tired and the feeling of loneliness and abandonment loomed large in his thoughts. The clock says 5:10am; he knows he has to get up in 2 hours to get ready for his wedding. He reached out to touch her but she was not there. He panicked, and called to her in the dark. It could be that she was using the bathroom, but he heard no answer. He turned on the light, to see a note on the dresser.

“Honey, we can wait. Lets see if they will come around” it said. Relief washed over him and he murmured to himself “and wait we shall my dear, wait we shall”.

She asked me because?

2008-12-11T16:25:00.003-05:00

a) I’m single
b) I live alone
c) I’m observant
d) I’m career oriented
e) She believes that is all what girls like me do
f) All of the above

I was surprised to see four missed calls from her when I returned from a fruitless four hour meeting. We never talk on the phone. We rarely talk in person; I did not know she had my number. We are not close. She is my cousin’s sister-in-law.

From the start, when they (my cousin’s in-laws) came to “collect” their wife (my cousin). This sister-in-law had already separated herself from us (my other cousins and I). She was one of those girls that will look at you and say “I am not your mate, America is not a leveler. If we were back home, we won’t even be on speaking terms”. She is probably 6-9 years older. I still don’t know her age. My cousin says she is 35, her brother says she is 34 and she tells everybody that she is 36. Her age does not concern me; what I know is that she wants to be respected.

So far she has earned it until her call.

On my way home I listened to her message “Allied please call me back, you are my only hope, I know u can help me”

Obviously, this had to be serious for her to bypass my cousin to call me; I guess I was really her last hope. So I called her back and asked her what she wanted

“Where can I get a dildo? What store can I go?” she asked

“Excuse me? Kile wi? I had to switch to Yoruba because I was not sure I had heard correctly”

“Dildo, vibrator, E bo ni moti le ra? A very good one.” I know you will have that information, I don’t want to get it on the internet, I want to go to a store”

At this point I took a deep breath, I was amused. How did she come to the conclusion that I had info on adult stores? Or I might know what makes a very good dildo?

“How am I suppose to have that information” I said to her calmly

“Common Allied, u girls of nowadays (girl please! We are the same generation) that don’t want to be hooked up always have a solution for yourself. Just tell me where I can get it”

Back in the days, I would have said one or two not so nice things but I am older and wiser and I also know that her opinion of me does not matter. I could have told her that I don’t know an adult store, but the truth is I am very observant

“I don’t know where u can buy a dildo except on the internet. However, there is an adult store close to your mother’s house. I am not sure if they sell only “blue movies” (yes, I still call them that, It is just easier to say in public) but I am sure they will have information on where you can go and get it”

“Can you please go there for me and find out. I need to get it for a friend. Help me pick out a good one. u should know the latest abi?”

Is this lady Mad?

“No, I can’t help you go there, and like you said ‘us girls of nowadays that don’t want to be hooked up always have a solution for ourselves’. Sorry, a dildo is not part of it.”

I guess she heard the sass in my voice because she said her goodbye and I bade her one.

Rubbish!

Question – Do Nigerians realize that it is normal for a single girl not to want to be hooked up?

There was a time an older lady (she is also 6-7 years older) asked to hook me up. She spoke about this guy from her church; a boy I have had the pleasure of meeting many times. He was an acquaintance. She went on and on about this guy until she noticed I was not excited.

“Allied, you are too picky, is it because he is big boned?”

“No aunty, it’s not that. I know Olumide, he is a nice guy. The thing is I don’t like hook ups”

Can you believe what she told/asked me?

“Oh, I see. You don’t want to date him because he will not fornicate with you’?

I was speechless for a moment, then I busted out laughing... first of all, who uses fornication in a sentence like that? And secondly, is she really for real? I just continued laughing until she herself was embrassed and she bade me goodbye

I know hook ups works for some, but there are people like us that don’t like them. It is not a sin. I have been labeled a Fornicator and a Dildo informant because I don’t like hook ups.

I don’t like HOOK ups – Yes I said it. I DON’T LIKE HOOK UPS...

And if you are offended I said that, please go jump off a cliff

Ok, don’t jump. But seriously just because you found your wife, husband, fiancée, fiancé, boyfriend, girlfriend, jump-off, cat, dog, sheep through hook ups does not mean everyone else has to go the same route.

And they say I’m picky

2008-11-17T10:48:00.009-05:00

Text from a ‘toaster’

“Hi allied, hope all is well. I am sick. It turns out I have mono and I have been in bed since last week. I hope u are still around when I get better. I really want to meet up in City. One more thing, U have beautiful lips”

Can somebody say Ewwwwwwwww! The guy just stated he has mono, then he is talking about my lips. My skin actually crawled when I read the text.

A note to Cupid/Eros
Cupid, I seriously think the arrows in your quiver have lost its magic. Or maybe you are simply amusing yourself with different characters. I don’t even know why I am complaining to you, what else should I expect from a chubby baby? But if it the arrows that are causing errors, please get new ones from your mom (she still in good favor) and may I also suggest you take off your blindfold before shooting them

Souvenir - A Haiku Story

2008-11-03T12:11:00.003-05:00

The days are shorter
Layer blankets and hot tea
Welcome winter

Escaping the blues
Pink Polka dot bikini
Australian summer

Nightlife & Vodka
Headboard knocking; Yes! Oh Yes
False intimacy

Everything must end
Bills waiting in mailbox
Looming solitude

Slanted deep brown eyes
Tuck in a wooly blanket
Autumn, a son’s birth

Things I wish i knew years ago

2008-10-16T08:20:00.002-04:00

I’m a year older today, and I’ve made my share of mistakes in my life. As much as I will like to always learn from the mistakes of others, I am humanly bond to make mine and learn tremendously from very single one.

Are there things I would have changed in my life? Probably, but I am not so sure because almost every poor choice I made shaped me into the woman I am today and it shouldn’t be surprising to say that I love me. However, there are a few things I wish I knew at some point in my life. It certainly would have made my life easier and less stressed. I am not sharing these things in regret but in hope that others can benefit from my blunders because we cannot live long enough to make them all by ourselves.

People will always have something to say. You don’t have to always listen.
l remember that at 8 years old, I was already 5’5. Aunties and Uncles said “Allied, you are growing too tall, no man will marry you if you grow any taller” Can u believe that? Of course, at that time when it had been instilled in us in school that the greatest achievements for girls were to be a good daughter then a great wife. The latter was going to be difficult if I did not somehow stunt my own growth. So at Age 8, Allied began to fast and pray so as not to grow an inch. Well I am 5’8 right now and I am the shortest in my family. Now all I hear is “if you are just as tall as your sister (5’10) you could have been a model.

All that stuff that’s stressing you out — it won’t matter in 5 years, let alone 15.
There have been many things that have happened to me, professionally and personally, that seem like the end of the world. And while these things were bad, they get blown up in my head so that they become major drama. They caused me to be depressed from time to time. What a waste of time. There are different problems at every stage in life. I remember when my biggest problem was when Kayode said he like omolade in primary 5B and not me. I told myself I will never like any boy again - Yeah right! Another big problem was this Data Structure class in University I couldn’t pass. I was one of the good students in computer science but still I could not pass this100 level course, it took 3 exams before I passed it in my last year. Still with a B+. There was also this crazy boss that was after my life, I thought I needed that job, but in the end, they let me go. It took me four weeks to understand that needed to happen for me to be where I am today. So, whatever those stress might be right now, just realized that it wouldn’t matter a single bit just a few years down the road. Perspective is a good thing to learn.

That skinny will be in vogue.
All those that called me “gbekumoyan” “Igbale” “walking stick” “Letter i” I want to see you now!! Ahh, I suffer oh, Kids and adult can be downright cruel. They called me names just because I was skinny. What didn’t I consume to make me fat – raw eggs, more raw eggs, milk and all other concoctions? Now, some of those *insert not so nice word* people see me now and as say “Allied, please tell me how you stayed your size”? drink raw eggs I say

Saying NO does not mean the end of the world.
I had a problem saying No and people took advantage of me. I had to start saying No, the first practice was telling myself in the mirror – it might sound silly but it worked. Now I am so good at it. Expect to hear a No from me if I have just finish cleaning the kitchen then you tell me to make you Iyan and Egusi. Expect to hear No, if you ask me to pick you up at your friend’s house at 1am on a workday when I am suppose to be at work at 7am. Infact I just said No to my little cousin (he is 1) he wants water, which means I have to stop typing... Okay maybe I am taking the No thing too far. ‘I am coming sweetie’

Just because you can pay the minimum doesn’t mean you can afford the balance.
Pay up your credit card debt and don’t buy so much stuff. My 20-year-old self would probably have read this post years ago and said, “Good advice!” But still I carried a large balance on my credit cards and paid my minimum balance. I was so mad when I got better in Mathematics and figured out how much I paid in interests for the stuff I don’t even own anymore.

A crying man does not equal a sensitive man.
Allied was ‘Mugued’. Just because a man cries when he hurts you, does not mean he is not evil. U know now that I think about it, I think I was just so shocked that he cried freely with me. As par I am Nigerian, I did not know what to do with a crying man except to “pet” him… ‘Sorry’ I say then clean his eyes then bring him water… Lol... I am laughing now, so funny

Six is not bad now. Please lets know what you wish you knew 5 -10 years ago. Like I said earlier, it is better to learn from other’s mistakes.

Wait!! Before you comment, remember to wish me a Happy Birthday :)

Time then Chance

2008-09-22T16:22:00.005-04:00

This is a sequel to Time and Chance written by ablackjamesbond. We all know that sequels are never as good as the original. With that said, treat this piece as such. I promised the author that i will continue the narrative from the brilliant or rather stupid line in my opinion made Bayo a long eared, slow, sure footed domesticated mammal, related to the horse and used chiefly as a beast of burden. It is popular known as an ASS!

Enjoy!

It is a difficult place to be emotionally. In between feeling cheated and trying to figure out what he thought she lacked as a woman and wife, forgiveness was also expected from her. Everyone in that living room knew Modupe’s mind was in turmoil. Occasionally, she let out a sorrowful loud sigh and sporadically shook her left leg as though defusing a cramp due to charley horse. For the first time in the 10 years that she had been married to Bayo, she felt extreme hatred towards him. The mess he had made of her life is about to be swept under the rug and never to be mentioned again, courtesy of the useless family meeting she was called to attend.

They were all seated in the living room waiting for the Olori Ebi [Head of the Family] to come out of the bathroom and start the proceedings. To her right sat her mother and her mother in law, her Pastor and one of the Deacons from the Church. Bayo sat at the corner in his favorite chair which is the tallest in the room. She thought he ought to have sat on the Apoti[1] in the kitchen, it suit the likes of him – a lowlife and shameless husband.

Olori Ebi finally appeared; everyone stood up, out of respect and allowed him to sit before taking their seats.
“Good afternoon everyone”, said Olori Ebi.
“The reason we are here today is to prevent a good thing from turning bad and address an indiscretion which is threatening the stability of the home of our children”

Modupe let out an audible “mmm” sound, in reference to the Olori Ebi’s choice of word “indiscretion”? If it wasn’t for her mother’s painful pinch, she would have told Baba Wande to throw all discretion to the wind and blurt out the truth about his nephew instead of layering it with pretty words.

“...ale tori ori fifo, ka be ori[2]” Olori Ebi continued “Modupe, Iwo la wa bee[3]. Please forgive Bayo. Asise ni[4]”

She woke up to the knowledge that some contribution was expected of her.

“Forgive him? And how do I do that? Am I to pretend this indiscretion never happened? Or that he wasn’t in his right senses when he slept with that girl. And what am I to do with my aching heart? Mami[5] is there a remedy you can prescribe? Mami, e ma wo mi ni ran[6]” Modupe turned to her mother seriously seeking an answer.

‘Wa ni lati se suru ni’[7]. Her mother comforted her.

Olori Ebi asked Modupe to remember the good deeds Bayo had done in the past 10 years. He is still a good son, husband, provider, son-in-law, neighbor and also a friend. Baba Wande’s words soften Modupe’s heart and she started to reason her way through the situation. She could not understand how Bayo found the time to cheat? During the day he was always at work when she called, except when he was out to lunch with his clients. Even at those times, he calls to let her know where he would be. He also came home on time every evening to have dinner with the family, after which he retreats to his study to do more work on his computer. She had even joked with him last weekend that he was married to the machine.

The relationship she had with Bayo had always been a very cordial and close one; it would have to take more than just the beauty of a stupid girl to penetrate and destroy what they have built. Maybe her mother-in-law was right when she said Bayo was bewitched by that girl. Maybe he wasn’t in his right senses when that girl lured him to Ife. Maybe she should forgive him and solicit the help of her pastor to destroy the hex that Mope girl put on him. Modupe looked at her husband and she saw he was so deep in thought. He is truly sorry she thought

Olori Ebi: 'Dupe please don’t be angry. Ese bayo, jo fi ya mi[8]

Modupe: I have heard.

Olori Ebi: Bayo! Bayo!!

Bayo: Yes Sir!

Olori Ebi: “You have wronged this woman deeply but she is willing to forgive you because of the love you have shared this past 10 years and also for the sake of the children. So what do you have to say to her?”

Bayo: Modupe, mo de sa fun e to o. {Modupe, I still can’t believe you caught me after all the precautions I took]

The silence in the room was as deafening as it had been before the meeting started.

Modupe : Bayo lenu e[9]? BAYO!! You are a wicked person oh!! Ko buru [10] But before I forgive him, someone should please ask him a question for me.Would he forgive me for the same indiscretion? Baba Wande, Eba mi bi[11]

Bayo answered before Olori Ebi could retort “Dupe, darijinmi. Tori ife wa Darijinmi. Ise esu ni[12]

Modupe: I will forgive you, but not today. I want us to all come back here next week, because I will also be asking for Bayo’s forgiveness. I am sure the devil will also use me. We can both forgive each other.

Modupe stood up and walked out of the room. Her mother ran calling after her.

Iya Bayo: Obirin agbako wo leyi[13].

Bayo: Baba Wande, please beg Dupe for me. Ahh, she is going to spoil our marriage

Olori Ebi: Ko je danwo[14]. If she does, she might have just succeeded in bringing that Mope girl into this house.

Bayo: She better not do it, because I don’t think I can ever take the taunting of my friends and colleagues. Not in my life time will she bring disgrace into my family.

[1] Low stool
[2] Beheading one’s head is not the remedy for headache
[3] Modupe, we came here to plead
[4] It was a wrong move
[5] My Mother
[6] Mother, don’t just look at me ( means do something)
[7] You just have to have patience
[8] For Bayo’s sins, I will be responsible
[9] Bayo? I can’t believe you said that!
[10] It’s okay
[11] Please ask him
[12] ‘Dupe, forgive me because of our love.. It’s the devil handiwork
[13] What kind of terrible woman is this?
[14] She dare not do it.

For Rebecca

2008-08-18T09:44:00.007-04:00

Clustered around papers, I remained on the carpet in the walk-in closet reminiscing all afternoon. The huge round hat box which housed my memorabilia sat stoically in between my tucked and folded legs bearing the depression made on its circumference. Apart from the dent, the box looked relatively new even though it’s a possession of a decade. It keeps secrets of the past, laughter of the present and memories for the future. Each content painted entrance scenery of past events ravishing to the eye and I simply allowed the memory of yesteryears transport me with joy.

Aaron’s letters was to bring me to the end of the journey. I chose them because his words were encouraging and strengthen to the soul. Aaron, who had been a very tall and brilliant white boy in college left sweet notes on my dorm bed once a week. In a subtle way, he professed his fondness of me but more than often his words was geared towards how he wished I could see myself in his eyes. He spoke like Confucius but with fundamentals principles from the Bible. I was never to settle for second best and should I come across difficulties along this path called earth, I was to listen to that still voice within me. His letters takes me to a warm and good place but my story is not about Aaron.

Amongst folded letters, I searched for the familiar yellow papers with the fading musk odor which use to be Aaron’s cologne but instead I found Jacob’s letters. Jacob and I grew up on an Island in New York and we attended the same church. As youths we engaged in every fun activity we were allowed and as time wore on my mother’s words came true. “Girls and Boys can never be friends. One will always want more” Jacob did.

In despite of his one sided “love”, our friendship continued. We cried, laughed and shared good memories. Jacob went far away to college while I went to college in the next state. His thirty or sometimes twenty nine page letters came every month. One for each day of the month and this went on for two years. We both came back home after college to find our Island too small for me. Jacob and I hung out but things were different. For me, he was boring and he in turn did not appreciate my newly acquired prefix and suffix in grammar.

‘Abeg, I am tired jare’

‘What was that? What is ‘a bag? And who is Jerry?’’ he would ask

‘Sorry, I meant I am tired’

‘Then just say you are tired’

A year after college, I moved out of the island but we kept in touch. He was sad and a little withdrawn but like every young lady just out of her teens, I was not going to be responsible for someone’s happiness. He asked me out again but I told him to forget about me. Besides I had already heard the speech from my grandmother “Mo omo eniti iwo ‘n se, Ma ba won fe enikeni ti kin se omo ile wa. A kin se be ni ebi wa”[1]

Jacob is Puerto Rican, and it is better not to start what i can’t finish. Well maybe if I had known my grandmother would die the year next and it wouldn’t matter to my parents who I marry as long as he is a man, I might have been more sensitive but God always knows best. You will have to forgive me again; but this story is also not about Jacob. It is about Rebecca.

You see, memories are like connectors, it leads us to down the chains to other events that are to unfold. Jacob’s letters opened the door to Rebecca’s. Like Jacob, Rebecca also grew up on the island and she is my best friend. She called me one day to see if I could come to the island because she had something to tell me. We picked the place and set the time we were to meet. I walked into the restaurant and saw her by the window with her eyes closed and fist clenched. She was praying. I hope this is good I thought. Her welcome hug lingered which made me a bit uncomfortable. “What is the matter” I asked

Rebecca is in love with Jacob. She had been nursing these feelings for four years. “I want to know if it is okay for me to tell him. I want your support but if by any chance you still like him, I will face reality and let it go”

“Tell him” I said “and if you must know, we never kissed him.” I smiled to assure her

Two years later, Rebecca asked me to be her maid of honor. Friends from our Island think it was a grave mistake I accepted. Rebecca was also advised to stay away from me. “You should be careful; you know her history with Jacob” Even my mom said “Do you think its wise? that would have been your life”

A year after the wedding, Jacob and Rebecca asked me to be godmother to their unborn child. I believed God cosigned on it because he was born on my birthday.

Rereading Jacob’s letters on the carpet in the walk-in closet that hot afternoon made me realize why Rebecca cried the night I shared those letters with her seven years ago. I misunderstood her tears for silliness because she always was the mushy type. I wished I had known then that it was because she loved him.

For Rebecca, The days of Jacob will seize to be mine
For you Rebecca, I tore his letters. Although he wrote them for me, he is living it with you.
For my dear Rebecca, Thank you for holding to our friendship.

*************************
[1] Know the child of whom you are, and don’t marry anyone that is not from our country. We don’t do that in this family.

The Other Side

2008-07-16T13:22:00.007-04:00

Somehow, they were always around to see her step in or out of her red sport car. The Sub Rosa life she lives, aroused their interest in her arrivals and departures in that gated community of theirs. Sometimes, they would say hello when she looked their way but often they just stare. One of they rumored she was a model, but another disagreed for although she has the body structure and the height, her glasses and pull back ponytail makes her look more like a sexy teacher. ‘No’ the unassigned leader said authoritatively ‘the laptop she carries and the high heel she wears suggests she works in an office’. They all agreed that she is pretty and dresses very well.

They really did think she was a pretty girl until that warm Monday night. At 1:32am they saw a figure approaching in a familiar stride. They weren’t sure who it was until she said ‘can you please keep your voices down. I know summer is here and you have no school but some of us have to work tomorrow’ though her request was stated calmly with a slight accent that alluded she is bilingual, her voice was somewhat stern. Their action in response to her demand came in the form of a shrill cry – piercing and keening to her senses; she took a couple of steps back, afraid something was terribly wrong. It was not until one of them fell on his back with his hand on his stomach did she realize they were laughing at her.

‘What happened to you?’ He asked. ‘I mean, we always thought you are a babe but dag what happened?’

What they saw, they termed “African booty scratcher”

Her hair was not packed in the usual pony tail but concealed in a tight black satin turban. Her face was bare except for the granny glasses that sat on the edged of her nose. They were huge and round, definitely not the cute squared frame she wore during the day. The faded white shirt clung to her body happily proclaiming the 60th birthday of an old woman. A rather long colorful Ankara covered the lower half of her body, to finish off the look; she wore two different color rubber slippers.

“What a transformation” another said

She in turn saw three young loafers always sitting under the big Juniper like tree below her bedroom window. Sometimes, she throws a smile their way acknowledging their greeting but often she prays for her brother when she sees the three, hoping he is not constituting a nuisance in somebody else’s life just like these loafers does in hers.

In an unmistakably Nigerian accent she yelled “what did you just called me? African booty scratcher? In your life you will not utter such again. You fool. If you don’t leave this place in ten minutes, I will show you what I am made of? Awon ode gbogbo – alianironu omode[1]. “

“You cannot do anything. We will leave when we are good and ready to do so”

“Wait and see. I am only giving you ten minutes. You will definitely regret it if you give me a reason to come out here again”

They continued to laugh

She was definitely pissed off, although her threat was an empty one; she felt a strong need to do something incase they decide to test her already worn thin patience. She paced up her down her bedroom, thinking about what she could do to get those boys away from the tree.

Twenty minutes passed and she still heard them laughing outside her window. One of them mimicked her accent and mannerism for their amusement.

She went into the kitchen and came back with her ammunition. Her first missile cascaded from her window down on their heads. As she finished pouring the big bucket of semi hot water, she remembered the heat wave prediction for that night. She returned to her kitchen and this time she came out with a big bucket of cold water, a broom and omorogun[2]. She stepped out of her house to their curses; many f’s and b’s flew out their mouth. Without retort, she threw the cold water at them, brought out the broom and proceeded to hit them one by one on their leg...

They all ran in disbelieve

With her left arm akimbo and the right holding the omorogun, she yelled “to ba bi yin da, come back here. Awon amu ni dese buruku”[3]

They left and she went back into her house

Though, it was quiet she could not sleep. She never thought such actions could come from her.

She loved the rush; relish the verdict but not proud of the means it was derived

Maybe is she not gentle after all

Maybe Allied was never gentle to begin with

Maybe it is the other side of me…

[1] Idiots! Children that cannot think
[2] A stick used to make Eba or Amala
[3] If you are born complete, come back here. Evil people that leads one to sin

Ahón ni ìpínnlè ẹnu.

2008-07-01T09:52:00.009-04:00

For those that can’t read Yoruba, the title translates to “The tongue is the border of the mouth.” This means there is a limit to everything.

People forget that!

The post is conversational. The Yoruba proverbs begin a new conversation and it also describes my feelings regarding the situation but it is all one story. I wish I could have written the entire post in Yoruba but I won’t because of obvious reasons.

Eni à ńgbé gègè ni yó ba ara rè jé.[1]

Allied won’t you buy our Aso ebi?

You are doing aso ebi?

Of course now – Don’t you know the naming ceremony for twins is a big deal?

It’s true. Ahh, I will also have twins ooo. How much is the aso ebi?

It is not expensive. $150 for both Ankara and Gele
(Why is every Ankara and Gele either $100 or $150? I am yet to see someone say $80 even $125, Na wa for Naija round up.)

I will send the money to your BA Account but how do I get my aso?

You know what? Make the money $170; I will mail them to you

Okay

Thank you. I will also celebrate with you oh...

Amin

Bí ọmọdé bá gun òkè àgbà, ó ńláti gbón.[2]

Brother Taju, please sew my Ankara well oh. The party is tonight

Allied, I sha don’t like when you bring me a rush job. You are going to pay ‘rush rush’ money

How much is “rush rush” money?

$70

Eh? Will the cloth then iron and fold itself?

You are truly from Ijebu

Na you sabi. I am going to pay you $30 plus bring in customers. I will take some of your business cards to the party tonight (Yeah right)

Ah, thank you. Pay $45

$35

Ahh, you are too stingy. Just bring the money

Enìkan kì í jé “Àwá dé.”[3]

I like that girl’s Ankara.

It is beautiful. But Allied, I thought you also bought Aso-ebi?

Yes now. I am wearing it

But it looks like you are the only one wearing this Ankara …

No, look at that table. One, two, three... Eight people are wearing it now.

And about thirty people are wearing the other one… Let me find out she sold you the left over Ankara.

Maybe the family is wearing something else... sebi I am just a friend…

Sade and Tolani are also friends but they are wearing the other Ankara. You do have to ask yourself, why everyone wearing the same Ankara pattern as yours is sitting together at the same table. You better go and join them…

You are not serious

Àgbà kì í fàárò họ ìdí kó má kan funfun[4]

Excuse me, Aunty Bose want you to join the others at the table in the extreme corner

Which Aunty? May I know why?

I guess it will be easier to coordinate the party if we are all together

(at the table)

Good evening Aunty

Good Evening. I want you to sit here with the others. Did Peju assign a task to you?

No Aunty

Well, you have to be assigned a task. It is the reason you are wearing the Ankara.

(during the party)

Allied did you serve table 4? (Yes aunty)

Allied, go and bring the cooler of Jollof rice from the truck (Yes aunty)

Allied why did you give that woman both meat and fish? (Sorry aunty)

Allied what is wrong with you? You are young, stop acting sluggish… (I rolled my eyes at aunty)
Allied take my daughter to the bathroom (Yes aunty)

Ìbàjé ọjó kan ò tán bòrò[5]

Aunty I am leaving. Good night

Leaving ke? We still have to pack the coolers in the van and clean the hall.

I have to go aunty. I need to be somewhere very early tomorrow

I see… After you have collected my Ankara – You are now running away when its time to work

Aunty, I don’t understand

If you knew you cannot work, why are you wearing my FREE Ankara? I told Peju to give them to people that will help me with the party. You should have bought the other Aso-ebi like everybody else.

Aunty, I bought this Ankara from Peju.

Èèyàn tí ò nítìjú ojú kan ni ìbá ní; a gbórín a tó tẹṣin.[6]

Peju, you really disappointed me. Why did you sell me that Ankara? Not only was it FREE, it was also meant to be worn by the servers of the lady who coordinated your party

Yes, but you did not have to help if you didn’t want to plus the servers are also my friends.

That is not the point. Did you tell that your Aunty Bose that you sold the Ankara because the lady disgraced me big time. You should have told me from the get go. I really feel cheated.

Allied, why are u making this a big deal? It is not that serious. It was my party and there were other people wearing the Ankara

There were Aunty Bose’s servers

Do you think you are better than they are? You think you are this mighty big shot?

Peju, obviously you miss the point. If there was no more Ankara, why did you make me buy that one? And if you wanted me to help out at the party - You should have said so. I feel cheated.

Are u calling me a cheat?

I want you to know that Àgbà tó mọ ìtìjú kì í folè ṣeré[7]

Ànán-mánàán ẹtú jìnfìn; oní-mónìí ẹtú jìnfìn; ẹran mìíràn ò sí nígbó léhìn ẹtu?[8]

I shouldn’t blame her. I think I have some kind of sticker on my forehead that says “gullible”. This is the 5th time that someone has sold me “extra” Ankara but this has been the worst experience. Was the $150 really worth it on her part? I have two options. Stop buying aso-ebi or I should start asking “Will EVERYone wear this Ankara?

Blogville, am I overreacting?

*****************************************
[1] It is the person who is revered that will disgrace himself or herself.(People who are placed on pedestals have ample opportunities to topple themselves.)

[2] If a child ascends the height of maturity, he/she must become wise.(Wisdom goes with age.)
[3] One person is not entitled to say, “Here we come.”(However mighty, one person is still only one person.)

[4] A grown person does not scratch his buttocks in the early morning without showing some whiteness.(Improper behavior brings disgrace.)
[5] The disgrace one incurs in one day does not disappear that soon.(Reputations are easy to destroy but most difficult to repair.)

[6] A shameless person deserves to have only one eye, that one as large as a horse's.(Human endowments are wasted on graceless people.)
[7] An elder who is wary of disgrace will not play at stealing.
[8] Yesterday the antelope was caught in a pit-trap; today the antelope is caught in a pit-trap; is there no other animal in the forest besides the antelope?(If the same person repeatedly finds himself or herself in difficulties others are able to avoid, one should look to the person's character for the explanation.

Idol '08

2008-06-18T09:25:00.004-04:00

Momsie told me I am the prettiest girl in the world - I believed her until I started school. Salewa had long jet black hair, Kiki was very light skinned and petite, Yewande was plump and her dark skinned glowed. I didn’t feel like the prettiest girl in the world.

When Momsie told me I have a really good voice – I was skeptical.

Do you have a good voice? Let everyone hear that beautiful voice of yours...

Sign up for Blogville Idol 2008

If you want to participate, send an email to Pink satin at pinksatinpinksatin@yahoo.com or Opeke at opeke9ja@yahoo.com.

And it came to pass...

2008-06-12T13:01:00.003-04:00

“Inakwana[1]”
“Lafiya[2]”
“Ka yi sauki yan zu ne?”[3]
“a’a[4]”
“Allah zai tai makeka ka sami sauki[5]”
“Amin[6]”

Hajia Medinat was the last neighbor to visit Zainab after her tabarmar kunya[7]. Although, the neighbors knew what happened, they all treated her as if she had an illness that the common wontu[8] medicine could cure. Hajia Medinat said the same things as the others “eat, sleep and rest. Zaka sani sau ki yazu[9]”

Zainab locked the door after Hajia Mediant left her house. She was not angry because she expected them to all stand together with aloof dignity. Their ridicules came in the form of lectures and their sorrowful mocks were accompanied with silent jeers. And of course, this embedded trait of theirs will transmit from one generation to another in the name of culture. A practice so long established that it has the force of law. Any one who does not adhere to it becomes an outcast. Zainab is a labeled reprobate, as a child she had been spoon fed the same customs but was wise enough to chew its morals and spit out its hypocrisy.

Her cell phone vibrated and she willed with intensity for it to be Musa but it was one of those annoying forward text messages from Hazzanat asking its recipient to forward the same text to twenty other people in order to have good luck in life. She slid the phone horizontally to reveal a QWERTY keyboard and hit delete. She was tempted to send Musa a text but decided against it. “He should be the one to come to me” she muttered under her breathe. She remembered their first major fight; it was the second day of Ramadan[10]. They met after the Maghrib[11] prayer to break their fast together. Musa who was always so sullen after work was full of cheer and praises for his boss. This was the same boss Bature, Musa vowed to mow down with his car. The change in attitude came as a surprise to Zainab

“Musa, did you get promoted?”

“No, but I know it’s coming very soon, Boss Bature called me a very intelligent man. In today’s meeting, he asked us a question and I was the only one who got it right”

“What is the question?”

‘If you are walking in a dark alley at night with your mother, wife and sister, suddenly a rapist appeared and you are overpowered. He then asks you to pick one person for him to rape, whom would you choose?’

“That’s a very tough question”

“No, it is not difficult when you really think about it. I chose my wife”

“You did what? Why would you do something stupid? Aren’t you supposed to protect me ….her? Ashamed of her admission, Zainab looked out the window hoping he did not catch her last word.

“I chose my wife because I cannot bear to see my mother go through such ordeal, and I would not pick my sister for the sole reason that she is not married. What man would marry her after he knows she was raped? But my wife, I know it is not her fault, I was there so I will forgive her”

“You can also forgive your mother” Zainab uttered in disgust.

Musa pulled her closer “are you angry with me? It was a hypothetical question. I would rather die before I give you up” That was enough to soothe Zainab’s feelings. The day ended pleasantly just has it needed to for two people in love.

Zainab was sucked out of deep sleep by the repeated blows which threaten the nails out of the door’s hinges. She looked at her wrist watch and the time was quarter to two. She immediately shook Musa’s sleeping figure on the adjacent sofa. Disoriented Musa was unable to think with clarity and act with intelligence. He asked Zainab to open the door. Hesitant in her steps, she reluctantly opens the door. Three gunmen pushed their way into the room rushing violently against Musa.

“Enter your room and bring out our allowance” One of the gunmen instructed authoritatively

“Sir, this is not my house, I am just a guest” Jellified Musa answered. The gunman looked from Musa to Zainab and slowly a smirk appeared on his lips and he simpered at Musa’s lame excuse. “I see... the cat is out and the mouse is out to play. I will also like to join in this game”

He motioned his men to bring Zainab as he unbuckled his belt. Musa pleaded and offer his car as atonement.

“What car do you drive”?
“A Toyota sir”
“What year”
“1982 sir”

“You must be mad. I drove a Lexus into this stupid compound and you are offering me a wretched car. I will never go backwards in life. Wretched man”

What every girl prays not to happen to her occurred that wee hours of the morning. Musa left shortly after the gunmen. He did not look at Zainab nor did he utter any comforting words.

A month slowly crawled by and he still hasn’t called.

The vibrating phone jolted Zainab to the present. It was another annoying text from Hazzanat. She slid the phone horizontally and began to text.

“Remember your answer to Boss Bature’s question... remember your words to me”

The reply came

“It would have been so if you are my wife... I am sorry”

The nausea came first, followed by her tears. She ran into the bathroom to release the first batch of bile that is to come every morning for the next four months.

_________________________________________
[1] Good Morning
[2] Answer to greeting
[3] Are you well now?
[4] No
[5] God will help you get well
[6] Amen
[7] Matter of shame
[8] Arabic prayer written on a slate in black ink then rinsed with water. It is used as medicine.
[9] You will soon recover
[10] Islamic month of fasting
[11] The fourth daily salat -

14th & Serenity

2008-05-24T15:59:00.001-04:00

Click here for more information

I have a CRUSH

2008-05-20T13:05:00.003-04:00

Blogsville…..

Blogsville

How many times I call una?

…There is this very HOT guy working on my floor. I have been working here for three years and for the first time last month saw him. I am guessing he is a Newbie

I am not sure what he does here but I see him checking the Xerox machines, laser printers and other I don’t knows... I just see him looking everywhere sha. I don’t think he is part of the security team because those guys wear uniforms and he doesn’t. He is also not part of IT because that is my group. So who is he?

Let just call him Xerox guy. Guys I kid you not, God probably spend 3 days molding this guy. He is FINE… but come, Allied you are usually not attracted to light skinned guys, but this one is an exception. I find my self going to the bathroom 6 times a day like a pregnant woman just to check myself ke. I even know the times he will pass my cubicle sef.

Alas when we are alone together (babanla Juxtaposition) – hallway, near Xerox machine, pantry even elevator, I am always frowning. I don’t even know why. I just say hi and pop my earphones in my ears as in – please I don’t want to have a conversation with you” but inside I am like... Men, say something… Why do girls always have to do shakara?

He said good morning today and I just mumbled something under my breath... haa me sef... this mamiwater fine girl that’s in our office, she is a head tuner. I turn head whenever she walks by… And Yes I am straight

So she walked into the pantry and started chatting away with Xerox guy, touching his arms lightly here and there… Is she trying to leave her mark? Omo, if you want to leave a mark, piss on him... ewwwww

I am going to eye her tomorrow… But I am supposed to be professional... ok, I will pretend something entered my eye, and then look her up and down... LOL… what if they start dating (Good for them) but I cant have a crush on someone else boyfriend

Anyway sha, guys I am just excited that I have a crush… I haven’t had one for a while because men don’t just catch my eye like that...

I never date crushes... they are just there for my entertainment…

Wait oh; I don’t even know his name… Are there any rules for Crushes?

***********************************
Check out the flier on the side page “where stories collide” click on it to learn more.

Later

Won ti tag mi!!!

2008-05-07T10:13:00.009-04:00

Rinsola tagged me
The rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you to this post
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

I fight with people in my head… No, i don’t have little people in my head. What i mean is i have arguments with people in my head. That did not sound right either. See, i am not confrontational, so when people irk me, step on my toes or plainly annoy me, instead of hashing it out with them. I just simply have a heated conversation with them in my head.

I cannot walk around the house naked or sleep naked. I know we females have to love our body and don’t get me wrong I do love mine but I just can’t just walk around the house naked or sleep naked. A female friend once asked me if I have ever stood in front of the mirror to look at myself naked. Let just stay she cannot to sleep over at my place anymore….

I have to sleep on the left side of the bed. If I ever give that side up for you, be aware that I must really really really like you.

I make fun of people I like. This is strange but if I am very nice and proper to you then you are still an acquaintance.

I do not liter. It is not unusual to see me with a little cute bag of rubbish. I will not drop it until I see a garbage bin. I hate it when people leave their litters on the floor especially at the movies.

I find everything dirty when it rains outside.

I think everyone in blogville has done this, so I can’t tag anyone.

Where have i been?

2008-04-28T15:14:00.003-04:00

I cant really say. it is not that i dont want to tell but i really dont know. Before i knew it the month of April is over.

I will be back in May!! I promise

Allied

Thanks to all those that checked up on me.. I really missed u guys

Look at Greed

2008-03-17T14:41:00.008-04:00

Stuff found in Dr Daudi Balali's house. He is the ex-president of Bank of Tanzania. Apparently he had a branch of the Central Bank in his house.

This is ridiculous …had to share

Long Live Africa

The Engagement

2008-03-06T10:14:00.011-05:00

The square, fold over pearlized ecru wedding invitation card passed around the room. With each hand that briefly held it came a “wow” or “it’s very beautiful” from its owner. Mrs. Bodunrinde was pleased with the reaction the card received. Her investment in the optional beveled borders was well worth it because members of her NGO thought it gave the card a distinguish look.

She described her daughter’s wedding gown as a satin A-line dress. The satin she chose because of its exquisite drapes and as they would all agree that an Inverted triangle figure like Tejumade’s will flatter an a-line dress. The bodice would be embroidered not with sequins but fourteen karats diamonds which would later be made into a necklace and bracelet for her unborn granddaughter. The details and color of the aso-ebi she left unsaid, her intention is to wow them as she did with the wedding invitation.

“Are your in-laws the same Akindugbe? The Akindugbe enterprise?” Mrs. Komolafe the vice president asked. Her face wore a somewhat quizzical look almost mocking.

Although her demeanor did not betray her, Mrs. Bodunrinde felt uneasy. This question was one she was afraid of. Her constant fights with Tejumade had been why she had to pick Sesan Akindugbe for a husband. He was first introduced to her as an entrepreneur until she probed further and got to know he owned a small shop managing fifteen workers – he is the head artisan. – A mere carpenter. “If you want to do charity, please donate money and not your entire life” she advised Tejumade on several occasions.

“No, they are not the same Akindugbe, but I think they are related one way or the other. It doesn’t matter if he is not from wealth, you know children of nowadays want to marry for love. Anyway, let’s get back to the agenda of this meeting. Where are we with the funds for the orphanage?
***************************************************

Sweat trickled down Sesan’s armpit even though he took a shower thirty minutes ago. The heat is merciless on those it considers lazy and sitting in traffic is regarded as idling away the day. He removed his fila, as if the breeze will somehow flow through his head to dry the sweat under his arm which by then had moved down his side. He tried to maneuver his way into the middle lane which seemed to move at a snail’s pace but his mother’s gele obstructed his view. She looked sad. Although her head was abased, Sesan could see the traces of wrinkles around her eye area. It only happens when she squints – an askance look of disapproval. He glanced at the rearview mirror a few times trying to catch her attention but to no avail.

Mrs. Akindugbe did not object the union between her son and Tejumade but she felt the Bodunrindes overbore them with their superior attitude. After the momi nmo e, both families agreed that the Akindugbes will host the engagement party for the couple but to her dismay, she got an Invitation with a letter inviting her to her son’s engagement party stating ‘the consensus of opinion is that we should do the engagement as well’. The opinion of whom they took, the letter didn’t say.

Sesan drove through the landscaped arc driveway to the massive building that stood in the middle. The valet attendants did not approach him; they simply looked at the car and pointed to where he could park. The Mercedes behind him got a different treatment; they almost carried the man into the building. Sesan walked with his parents to the entrance where he was asked for his invitation. “I am the groom” he mentioned. With a swift pass the guard motioned him in but not without a thorough glance.

The hall was beautifully lit with chandeliers. Orange and white bandhni drapes along with gold tissue surrounded the entire room. Inflated vinyl champagne bottles decorated with colored streamers added décor to individual tables. Waiters carried trays of intoxicating drinks served in slender transparent glasses to warm the atmosphere for a successful party. On the right side of the room sat the rest of the Akindugbe’s relatives who exhaled a sigh of relief when Sesan and his parents entered the room. It was not that the groom was late but many of them were on pins and needles watching the unaccustomed glamour being played out. At a point, each and everyone secretly checked their invitation again to see if they had indeed come to the right party.

The Alaga iduro started the ceremony. Sesan’s relatives did the customary prostration to Tejumade’s family. After much cajoling from the groom’s relatives they were allowed to sit down. A fabricated story was told on how the couple met, alluding to their difference in economic background. Tejumade was praised for her education, manners, beauty and character.

“Sesan, you can't find a girl better than Tejumade” the Alaga iduro bellowed through the microphone. “But we all know she can”

The room rang with laughter but it was louder on the left side.

“We now call on soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Bodunrinde …oh I am sorry Mr. and Mrs. Akin…. Akindubi… Akindugbe” the Alaga Iduro managed to say

The left side hearty laughter rang again.

Tejumade was asked to take out one item she will always need out of the trousseau Sesan’s relatives presented as a gift to her. She looked through the box and drew out a set of iro ati buba; she hesitated for a minute then she picked up the oja aran instead. She walked briskly towards the Alaga iduro who paused in her speech; unsure of what to say.

Laughter rang on the right side of the room this time

Mrs. Akindugbe knew her moment had come. At last she will be recognized as the Iya oko.

Her gesture was calculated. She took the microphone from the Alaga iduro and walked to Tejumade.

Although, she knew it was unnecessary and petty, but still opt for the chance

“I am glad that we still have two things to teach you in our family. Things your refinement cannot erase nor can your family wealth buy. They are our culture and customs.” Mrs. Akindugbe guided Tejumade back to the trousseau and handed her the white bridal bible.

“This is what you were to take.”

Her speech was a waltz to the rest of the Akindugbe family. They welcomed their triumph with thudding claps.

Tejumade dropped the bible and spun on her heels; she ran as fast as she could out of the room. Sesan followed. Confusion and murmurs overtook the hall and shame of ruin registered on both the mothers’ faces.

**********************
Aso-ebi - Attire for the family
Fila - hat
Gele - headtie
momi nmo e - Introduction
Alaga iduro - MC/Narrator
iro ati buba - Blouse and wrapper
oja aran - Velvet clothe used for securing a child when backed
Iya oko - husband's mother

She is Cultured

2008-02-25T12:32:00.010-05:00

Six years old Wemimo sat between her mother's thighs making faces to ease the pain that came from her hair plait. Her mother’s hand moved rapidly as she passed the three part hair sections over one another in turn. “Gbo ri duro fun mi*” her mother snapped sporadically in between her talk with Mama Comfort who came to share the latest gossip in the compound.

“… although I heard her scream I just couldn’t be bothered. Maybe when he beats her black and blue then she will know not to bother him when he is drunk. When will she learn not to provoke her husband? It is as if she enjoys what goes on in their lives. Imagine, she went crying to the landlord this morning. I don’t understand why she craves so much attention” Mama Comfort tattled.

“So she can cry?” Wemimo’s mother let out a loud hiss. “Can you believe she wanted to fight me this afternoon? All because I removed her dry clothes from the barbwire fence. She terrorizes the whole building with her bickering when her priority is to take care of her husband. Don’t even get me started on how she mollycoddles that rotten son of hers Subomi. He is bad influence; Wemimo I hope you stopped playing with him like I ordered?”

Wemimo murmured a yes accompanied with a nod. She felt the compulsion to defend her friend Subomi who is more mannered than Comfort the mango stealer but it was best to please her mother at the moment because she knew a knock on her already throbbing head will definitely increase her misery.

Twelve years old Wemimo walked into a scattered mess living room. The room resembled the aftermath of a violent storm. A stray paper here and a lone book there, at the corner laid her brother’s football and sneakers smeared with mud. On the center table, specks of garri swam in a ring of water, stray cheerios played on the floor while the box stood at the base of the entertainment center. She watched as brown dried leaves were swept in an air vortex then its lazy rage quit as suddenly as it began.

“Bamidele” she screeched “why is the house so messy. Tidy this place up before mummy gets home”

“Why should I do it, aren’t you the girl?” he stated nonchalantly

Her face turned red with rage. “You must be mad. Did I participate in this mess? You made it and you must clean it up” Wemimo’s mother walked in during her outburst and was taken aback at the mess.

“How can I have a daughter and still come home to a dirty home?”

“But mummy, Bamidele, made the mess, I just ….”

“Clean this up now before you father comes home. As for you Bamidele, are you a pig? Look at the mess you created for your sister to clean up. I don’t ever want you to make such a mess again. Do you hear me?

“Yes mummy” he beamed and feasted his eyes back to the television just in time to see Clarke Kent change into superman

Eighteen years old Wemimo woke up to her mother terrified screams; she lunged for her wrapper and ran towards to her parent’s room. Her mother crouched on the floor with both hands on her head; the inarticulate sounds she uttered could not be deciphered. Wemimo’s father had a Koboko in his right hand, he looked like someone who had just quenched his rage of thirst but wanted more to get the sweet feeling of the very first drop. His smiling face disturbed Wemimo, it was the same facial expression he gave when he was promoted the year before and when Alaji Bakare forgave his huge loan. To him, that smile is associated with good. To him, what he just did to her mother is good.

Wemimo helped her mother up and led her towards the door then she turned to her father “I would have been proud of you if you had done this to Alaji Bakare’s son Ibrahim when he slapped you for stepping on his shoes.” She didn’t say more but the shame of that day crowded her father face.

She returned from school to see her mother waiting at the gate. “Wemimo, I hope you did not mention what happened this morning to anybody? What happens in this house should stay in this house. When you get inside, please apologize to your father. Under no circumstances should a daughter talk to her father the way you did this morning. Things happen in marriage, when you get married you will understand”

Twenty eight years old Wemimo rushed into her parent’s home crying with her two children in tow. “Mummy, i am divorcing Kunle. He slapped me twice in front of the children.”

“What did you do to him” she said calmly

“What did I do? Did you just ask what I did to him? What ever I did should not warrant any beating from him.”

“pele, ile oko, ile eko ni. He is only teaching you”. Go in and sleep but tomorrow your father and I will go there with you. Under no circumstances should you ever leave your husband home. Do you know how many women will gladly take your place”?

Wemimo fought, she pleaded, she left for her uncle’s place but she heard the same thing there “ile oko, ile eko ni*”. She sought the help of friends, she got a small place to live, She was gossiped about at work, she was insulted and spat upon – “after all a woman who earns as much as she does can never respect her husband”. She was fired from work, her children were taken from her, she was evicted with no place to go.

Tired and broken she went back home

Home was with Kunle

He gave her a room, he gave her the children, he got her a job, and he beat her once a while

But she survived

Fifty four years old Wemimo sat on the balcony in her house with a newspaper in hand. Temilade her daughter rushed in crying “Mom, I am done with Dapo, I cannot take his daily physical and emotional abuse any more”

“What did you do to him”? was the first sentense Wemimo uttered.

*****************************************************
Gbo ri duro fun mi – Keep your head straight
Pele – Sorry
Ile oko ile eko ni – Your husband house is a place of learning

(Sorry for the errors.. no time to proof read)

Things

2008-02-14T13:51:00.004-05:00

I was going to put up another story then I realized it wasn’t appropriate for Valentine’s Day. I don’t want the heaviness of it to tamper with the love in the air (eyes roll)…instead I decided to do the game of THINGS… This should be intresting. I love to see some of your answers and please feel free to add to Things you think people should know..

Things your parents forgot to tell you
That being an adult came with it set of problems -a whole lot of them. If I knew, I wouldn’t have been in a hurry to grow up.

Things you can do to get rid of unwanted guests
While talking to them, go and in out of rooms lighting candles of different colors, then ask them if they want to join you in evoking the angry spirits that live within the wall of your house.

Things you wouldn’t want to find in your Christmas stockings
Vagisil

Things you shouldn’t do at your wedding
When the minister says that you may kiss the Bride that does not include a full body grope.

Things you shouldn’t say to your friend before they go into battle
Be self assured that i will take proper care of your husband. He will not lack anything.

Things people do when no one is looking
Truly being themselves or pulling out a wedgy

Things you shouldn’t do on an airplane
Wear too much perfume or cologne. Please lay off the duty-free shops when you are about to board. Perfume should be a seductive scent when you pass and not make the eyes of the person next to you water

Things you wish were delivered
Men – I wish I can just order them according to how I like and if it is not what I want, I have 30 days to return him.

Things you should not do if you want to make a first impression
Please don’t pick your nose, flick the booger then clean the tip of your finger with your shirt

Things kids know more about than Adults
Forgiveness

Things paramedics shouldn’t say to a patient on the way to the hospital
Any last words?

My Journey

2008-02-04T09:20:00.000-05:00

I surveyed my future inheritance from the massive balcony overlooking the northern courtyard in my father’s palace. The dandelions and purple tulips gave the plains a unique color of deep blackish brown. From afar, the plains look dead and blanched but close up it becomes a beautiful place filled with flowers; swaying to the rhythm of the wind. Life is really good at home but I needed to see what was beyond those plains.

My father is a very powerful and wealthy king. His reign and praises is known in the entire kingdom and beyond. As an heir to the throne, I enjoyed all the rights I am entitled to in the palace. One of those rights includes the freedom to see and talk to my father any time of any given day, even when he has other pressing matters to attend. One day I told him how bored I was in the kingdom. I want to see the world and all its glory.

He called me a child for my lack of understanding. “I love you and want you here. Life is terrible down there. It is filled with hunched backs caused by drooped shoulders pulled down by the heavy weight of their self inflicted problems”

“But you are very powerful, why can’t you make them all happy”?

“The problem is that my people do not acknowledge me as their king therefore, they refuse to obey the laws of my land. The few who obey don’t fully understand the law hence the chaos.”

“But daddy, I want to see for myself.” I pouted

With a heavy sigh, “Do your will. Tomorrow you will go on your journey. All I said will be revealed to you.”

I mulled over the conversation I had with my father as I packed all I thought was necessary and compulsory to go on a pilgrimage. I stood before him the next day combat ready. He advised me to leave my luggage behind because it will not be needed. He descended the throne and embraced me, his warmth enveloped my whole being, his fatherly love tugged at my heart and immediately I was ashamed for wanting to leave home. With my eyes closed, he kissed me on the cheeks and bade me farewell.

Suddenly, i was in a dark warm enclosed space. There was not much room for movements but surprisingly I was very comfortable. I heard blurred familiar noise and sounds which put me to sleep. Without warning, I was transitioned from the dark amniotic sac into an infinite cold space with bright lights as coarse voices shouted “dhukha, dhukha*”

“Woh ladki hai (n)*” the disappointed midwife exclaimed. I heard my mother sob. My entry to the world was like being in a warm swimming pool right after a dive and abruptly you raise your head from the water. It was very uncomfortable. The world felt huge, alien and cold. My mother Lata kissed me and whispered into my ears. “Asha”. My dad Vishnu scolded her for what she did then took me from her, “you should not have named her” he sorrowfully added “she cannot stay” A bucket of cow milk was brought into the room, and he submerged me into the opaque white liquid till I stopped breathing. I had come as hope for them but because I was born a female in Bihar, my faith was death. Since my parents have no money to pay for a future dowry, the problem had to be taken care of now. If they had let me live, I would have lived up to my name - Asha*.

I returned traumatized; into another sac within minutes of leaving the first one. I prayed to be born a second time to a place where females are cherished. My prayer was answered; my new mom Jennifer was overjoyed to see a beautiful baby girl with a head full of dark hair. Frank, my new dad cried the tears of joy when he held his first child. My grandparents spoiled me very much. Life was good in Little Elm, Texas.

I turned one, two, and three, on my fourth birthday Frank passed away. Two years later, Jennifer’s new boyfriend Tom raped me continuously till I turned nine. I passed away the night he held tightly to my neck so I would stop screaming when he thrust his member into me.

I reentered benumb into yet another sac. This time I prayed to be born a male. Again, my prayer was answered and I was born to Nkem and Etim Ebong in Nigeria; a place where male children are a source of pride for the family. My birth was celebrated and I received many gifts for being the first son. I was happy in that household until my parents accused me of wizardry at the age of four. I was beaten and tied to a tree in a nameless street in a town called Esit Eket in Awka ibom for five days without anything to eat. Weak in spirit, I closed my eyes and whispered a message to my daddy “please forgive me; I am ready to come home”. The plains looked even more beautiful with its dandelions and purple tulips when I opened my eyes.

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dhukha - Push
Woh ladki hai (n) - She is a girl
Asha - Hope

Confute

2008-01-24T11:25:00.000-05:00

Ariyike admired her naked figure in front of the antique bureau in the master bedroom. Her left hand hiked up her hair in a ponytail-like manner while her right traced an invisible line into the smoothness of her dark skin. The trail started from the nape of the neck, passed between her breasts and ended just below her navel.

“All a waste” came her whisper. She quickly grabbed a night gown when she heard a knock on the door. “Who is it”? The door opened just as she managed to pull a house coat over her transparent night wear. Her father in law poked his head in the room “Bahu*, your saas* and I are going to the mandir*, please tell Vinod to pick us up at six”.

“Teak ke. Phir milenge Sasur ji*” she did a quick one knee bend as she voiced these Hindi words Vinod taught her, but she wasn’t sure it was right to have added “Sasur*” at the end. In the Yoruba culture, your father in-law becomes your father. Next time she will say “Baap*” instead of Sasur*. Her father in-law gave no indication he heard her practiced Hindi. He closed the door quietly and walked silently down the hall to meet his wife. Not until Ariyike heard the front door close, did she realize she had also greeted him the Yoruba way. He will soon mention to Vinod that her knees keep bending whenever she talks to them.

It has always been WE, THEY and THEM from the beginning

Seven months ago, she came into this very house as a guest. Vinod had finally shown courage to tell his parents about their plans to marry. She sat stoically on the sofa while her past and future was discussed. Her mother in law cried and shook herself violently clamoring “Kyon beta? Kyon? tumara patnii nahee hai*” over and over again. Those were the first Hindi words she looked up herself. She expected rejection not shame. To the Sharmas, her marriage to Vinod would result to the lost of their family honor. Their tashrif*. How are they to look other Indian families in the eye without shame? Does Vinod remember he has two unmarried sisters? Who will marry them?

Two weeks before, she had dealt with the same issue with her parents, but the worst her mother said was "no family member will attend Your ceremony". The emphasis on 'your' was for her to know she is in it alone. Her father called the extended family to talk some sense into Ariyike but she did not relent. In a mist of tears, she informed them she had made her choice, her love transcends language and culture, they would understand if only they left their cultural cocoon.

The same scenario played in the Sharma’s house. Vinod told his parents “its either her or i will never marry”.

“Beta*, they don’t understand marriage like us. They leave their husband at the first sign of trouble. Understand us beta*, we are your parents. We know what is good for you”

“She is the solution to my life”

Ariyike got up from the plastic covered sofa and knelt in front of his parents. She cried and swore never to leave Vinod. Without speaking, Vinod’s father helped her up and took her to the altar room they kept in the house; he pointed to some statues and told her to swear before them. He lit incense and chanted some mantras. Ariyike swore to Ganesh, the statue with the head of an elephant, then to Brahma, the three headed god in the Buddha position. She was also asked to present flowers to a blue colored god who is known as lord ram. On her own accord, she brought out a small bible from her purse and swore to her own God never leave to Vinod.
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It would have been easy for Ariyike to cope if she experienced inevitable mundane changes of the seasons in marriage but hers was extraordinary. She left Vinod a note on the fridge to pick up his parents from the temple at 6pm. They have not spoken since she found the pictures under his cufflink box. She went to the room and stared at them again. The first Polaroid was of a naked stranger sleeping peacefully, ‘sleeping beauty’ was written on the back of the picture. The second had Vinod holding the stranger in a loving clasp, ‘frozen moments’ it said. In the third and last Polaroid, Vinod was kissing him.

She chose to stay. She had to stay. She has to prove to her in-laws that she can grapple just like any Indian girl. She has to prove to her parents that she did not make the wrong choice by marrying out of her culture. She has to prove to Vinod she is more than enough for him. She has to prove to herself that she is happy.

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Bahu – Daughter –in law
Saas – Mother in law
Sasur – Father in law
Mandir – Temple
Teak ke. Phir milenge Sasur ji – Fine. Good bye father in law
Baap – Father
Kyon beta? Kyon? tumara patnii nahee hai – Why Child(male)? Why? This is not your wife
Beta - Male child
Tashrif - Honor

Mirror of Choice

2008-01-15T13:11:00.001-05:00

With the instructions her mother left behind, Olape spoke with authority to Asabi. “You cannot leave until you clean the freezer”. Asabi merely grunted, if it were another day she would have hissed or sang aloud how tomorrow is very pregnant. The master always ends up serving the servant in most of her songs. Today is different though. It is Asabi’s last day as a maid in the Iteyin’s household. She is traveling back to her village to get married.

“Aunty Olape, what are you going to give me before I go” she shouted with glee. The girls are only eight months apart but because of the position Olape held in the house as the master’s daughter along with Asabi’s upbringing in a community that believes one has to give respect to anyone who is at least six months older, Asabi is bond to call Olape an honorary aunty.

“Give you? I don’t know why you are happy, you barely know the guy” She remarked in disgust.

Twenty year old Asabi gave a coy smile. She twisted the dust rag around her index finger as she answered “I remember he sold fish in our night market before I left the village five years ago but now he is rich. Mami said he now owns three okadas and he rents them out to drivers. I will be his first wife”

“How old his he?”

“I cannot say, he should be Baba Iyabo’s age but I know he will take care of me. Mami said he paid for my trip to come back to the village, she also said I will be the madam of his house”

Olape felt sorry for her. Baba Iyabo is the Iteyin’s driver and he is in his early fifties. She wondered in amazement the poor choices these illiterate girls make. Items not worthy of being classified as luxury dangles in front of them and they fall for it. Asabi is going to marry an old fart just because he has three okadas. Thank God she, Olape Iteyin is educated and can see beyond okadas.

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“Olape, you have to weigh this option carefully. Kola’s mother just spoke to your father and me concerning your hand in marriage. When did you start dating Kola? I thought it was Segun family you introduced us to?

“Mummy, Segun is not serious. He never wants to do anything, we don’t go to the movies nor do we go out to eat. There is nothing romantic about him. I met Kola two months ago and mummy can you believe he is based in the US” ?

“Olape, your choice should not be based on that. We know Segun and his family very well and they are nice people. We don’t know too much about Kola’s family and they want to hold this marriage next month. As your mother, I will advice you to give it a thought.”

“Mom I have made my choice. I love Kolawole very much” her eyes glisten as the thought of living in Boston came to her already distant mind.

Did Somebody say Weirdo?

2008-01-03T10:36:00.000-05:00

Ok, I for fear.

Happy New Year!!! I haven’t bloggd in a while. I was so busy. Ok I lied; I was not busy jare, just lazy to blog. My muse and I were luxuriating during my 2 weeks vacation doing absolutely nothing. I invited some bloggers over to my place and we had (Ok, let me speak for myself) I had the most amazing time with them. We gisted till 7 in the morning. These bloggers had lots of funny stories to tell, they are even more animated in person.

Anyway, I know this is really late. I was tagged by many people but it was hard to come up with 8 weird things about me. For the sane reason that I don’t consider myself weird at all, so this is my lousy attempt to join the Weirdo crew.

1. If you help me in any manner, I will always be loyal to you. Not to say I am disloyal to other people. Example, Let say I need $3 and you came to my rescue, there is nothing you can do that will make me say I won’t be there for you. Even if you treat me bad. I will always remember what you did for me.

2. I cannot sleep when someone else sleeps beside me. I don’t know what I will do when I get married. I will wake up if they move, breathe loudly or God forbid they snore.

3. When I am bored I write my name and cell number over and over again. I will write them in Caps, then lower case, then Caps and lower case.

4. I have lots of native for someone who is not an owanbe chick. Once a month, I try most of them on, complete with accessories excluding the Gele (head tie). I then admire myself in the mirror but sadly no place to go. But this year I have decided to start wearing them to my friends function. Most of them are Indians and they wear their own outfit. So why shouldn’t I wear mine.

5. When I am angry, I clean. I don’t know how to fight. Not with words, fist or silent treatment. When the place is spotless, I feel better and I move on. If I hold in bitterness, where will my happiness dock?

6. I detest Malls. I would rather spend my time watching Cspan. (Which I also dislike) Please why do people go window shopping? What purpose does that serve? Why do people hang out at the mall? For what reason? I only go the mall like 1 or twice a year and it is to places I know I can’t find outside the mall like Things Engraved.

7. I don’t like to memorize people cell phone numbers. I dislike it when people ask you what their cell phone number is just because they know yours. I don’t even know my Mom’s new cell phone number. In this day and age that I don’t have to dial, all I do is store you name, number and press enter. I only remember numbers I dial. Another reason is when I delete you from my cell phone what is the purpose when I know your number off head (please tell me I am not the only one that do this? Delete a number you know by heart from a cell phone)

8. I remember people’s birthday. If I meet you once and you tell me your birthday, be sure that I will remember for life.

Ok, I made it to number 8; you can see that I am not weird.

Ciao

The Narrow Escape

2007-12-10T10:53:00.000-05:00

“Iyabo Olayinka”
“Nurudeen odeyemi”
“Murktar Yaradua”
“Bolanle same last name as Allied”

My heart skipped a beat as the name bellowed through the loud microphone. My eyes; although fixed on my sandals saw the chilled stares of the other students through my peripheral vision. I also heard whispers of scandal rumored through the whole assembly.

“Bolanle same last name as Allied”

Even though I considered Bolanle a wimp, I knew she would not dare go on stage. Punishment was inflicted in the presence of all while exoneration was privately awarded, that was how it was unjustly done in our school. She couldn’t take the chance for a tabooed crime as mine.

“Class teacher and house mistress of Bolanle last name as Allied” please see to it that she reports to my office immediately. She is in more trouble than she can imagine, no one is allowed to skip morning assembly” Mr. Paseda and Ms Osikoya both nodded to the principal.

Courageous enough to return an intense gaze of my own, I looked up to search for Bolanle in the next row. Our eyes met. She gave me a deadly look which was contrary to her character. Molade and Rita, her friends did likewise. I made a mental note to write their names as both noise makers and vernacular speakers for that afternoon. The ascendancy of a class captain gave me such rights. The extent of my power was limitless within the thousand square feet of our classroom. It wasn’t my fault her name was called at the assembly, our English teacher Mr. Adeyemi made his common mistake.

Mr. Adeyemi, who regarded himself as a no nonsense teacher with well behaved students had a snobbish mannerism to him. He was one of those teachers who affect an offensive air of self satisfied superiority in matters of taste and intellect. I think he schooled in Ghana because he seized every opportunity to correct students and staffs alike; on their English pronunciation. “It is not pronounced eDUcation, its eJUcation”.

I still cannot fathom why Mr. Adeyemi called me Bolanle. She and I had nothing in common except our last name. We looked nothing alike neither do our initials. Bolanle is short, fair and robust compared to my tall, dark and lanky. There was a day I was brave enough to correct him after my rationalization of his unexcused able behavior. You would think wining the best English student for three consecutive years and also being one of the top students in the school would make my name an icon, but his man couldn’t be bothered. That day ended with me kneeling down in the sun for three hours because I interrupted him during his lesson.

Students trotted out of the assembly hall after we were dismissed to our various classes. Bolanle cornered me on the staircase.

“Allied, you need to rectify this situation. We need to let the principal know the wrong name was called”.

“I will take care of it”

I made the decision to confess to the principal. He was amicably calm when I told him I was responsible for the crime and not Bolanle. His disbelief echoed in his voice. He knew of my achievements in the school and would not have guessed that a nerdy quiet Allied is capable of breaking serious school violations. With his head abased he declared his judgment. The utmost punishment was my parents being notified of my infamy. My grandmother would be disappointed the most. She recently told my dad that he needed to trust me more.

The rangy bursar was called to thrash me. I was glad that it was done in the privacy of the principal’s office and not in public like the others. My cooking stove was confiscated along with a small bag of rice and a carton of indomine noodles. I was also given a long stone throw portion of dry and stubborn grass to cut. That punishment was for inviting Murktar Yaradua into the girl’s hostel for dinner during extention.

Mr. Adeyemi was called by the principal to see to it that our parents were informed of our recalcitrance. I watched him outside the principal’s office as he dictated to the school secretary what the letter is to say.

“Can you please give me the names of the offenders’ sir, I need to pull out their files to get their home address” she asked

“Sure. The miscreant names are Iyabo Olayinka, Nurudeen odeyemi, Murktar Yaradua, and Bolanle same last name as Allied”.

Stolen Childhood

2007-11-28T11:02:00.001-05:00

I imagined the aran*; hung over the open closet across the room wrapped around my ill and shriving body. The image conjured surged a powerful urge to get the velvet fabric at all cost. I contemplated over the two options available; it was either I gather enough strength to walk the painstaking steps to the closet or scream loudly, which would send Asiata running into my room to get it for me.

I decided on the latter but my voice was weak. It sounded as if the echo did not leave my room. Or it could be that Asiata heard me but was bent on her revenge because I freed her caged butterflies? She kept them in order to send messages home to her people in Ilorin. “Backwards bush girl” was what I called her before i opened the mesh-like cage and released her diurnal insects. Doesn’t she know moths are for sending messages not butterflies?

The former option it had to be. I pushed away the Ankara wrapper the aran* is to replace, for it did not do much to keep me warm, besides, it reeked of Robb. I made the five seconds walk to the closet in thirty five seconds. I pulled at the fabric but the corner of the velvet snagged on the tiny nicks on the closet door and its end was caught in between the cracks. I tugged at the cloth until my legs gave in due to fatigue and i sunk to the floor. Everything went dark.

I woke up to the sound of wood cracking in fire and the aran* wrapped around my body. But to my dismay, the surrounding was alien. In the middle of the room was a real camp fire and behind it was another girl sleeping on a straw mat at the extreme. There are two entrances into the room, one had a door and the other had a curtain. A depicted calendar with the image of Jesus was hung on the door and on the floor by the right, sat a small amu* covered with a metal tray with different color plastic cups arranged on it.

A tall light skinned man entered through the curtain entrance, he took water from the amu* with one of the plastic cups. He hiked up his glowing white sutana*; a result from its several rinses in robin blue powder water, revealing a black trouser underneath. I would have labeled him an albino but he is freckles and blemish free. He came up to me and placed his hands on my forehead. I shrunk away from his touch for I did not know who he was. He handed me the cup of water which I took but did not drink and he said in Ijebu* dialect that we will start in thirty minutes.

A plump lady came in after he left. She was also dressed in a sutana* and with her was a small bowl, a wad of paper and a folded white cloth. Without speaking, she took me to the river to bathe. In the paper was a ball of black soap, which she generously applied to my hair with a twine sponge. I was given the white cloth to wrap around my wet naked body. I shrived to no one in particular as we walked back, the night was dark and cold and I was scared. We entered a building; a place I assume is some sort of sanctuary. Stick inscent were burning at the four corners of the room and there were benches arranged for an audience. She left me there and came back with two other women and two men, the light skinned man included.

Surrounded by the five church members, I was asked to kneel down in the middle. At this point, i found my voice and asked them why I was there and where my parents were. All my questions fell on deaf ears. They sang praises to God and the prayer session began. The light skinned man who was the leader explained to the rest what their mission was. He stated that i have been ill for the past month and my family had brought me here to be cured. He also claimed they are to command my spirit friends to leave me alone to enjoy life. For an eight year old girl, it was terrifying to hear of ghosts and spirits in the middle of the night. I crouched where I was and screamed.

At the tintinnabulation of the church bell, whips made from the remnant of a sugar cane plant landed on my back. The five of them shouted gibberish as the cane descended on me. I cried and danced to the canes like my life depended on it. Before I passed out I heard one of the females say in ijebu* “her case is a strong one; she might not make it through the night if we don’t beat the little devils out of her”

I almost did not make it through the night. Times without number, buckets of water was poured on me while the canning continued. I was asked to repeatedly send these spirit friends I neither could see nor hear away. I was to denounce my imaginary spirit land and claim earth as my abode. Broken in spirit and weak in stamina, I made up my own images and bade them goodbye for I wanted to live. The canes stopped as dawn broke over the valley. The advent of an adult began with this day. For there is no night so long that will not end with a dawn. And no day dawns like another.

** Aran – A velvet fabric used as a duvet

** Amu – A dome shaped water vessel. It cools the water in it.

** Ijebu – The literary dialect taken from the Yoruba language.

** Sutana – A white garment worn by the church organization. (e.g., Celestials and Cherub and Seraphim)

30 Days of Thankfulness- Day 21

2007-11-21T09:54:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged by sis Believer and friends Aijay and Writefreak. Thank you guys! You forced me to look beyond my trouble today and count all the numerous blessings God has bestowed on me.

Join me in the Thankfulness Chain....if you've been tagged, please complete the tag on the assigned day example... if you're tagged for November 21... that is day 21 and you should title your post 30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 21 provide a link to the person that tagged you previously Also provide a link to the two people that you're tagging for the next day so we can all follow the chain... Do let them know they're being tagged.. why they're being tagged, and how to grow the chain if you're unable to do the tag on your assigned day... still choose the day to reflect the date you do it (if you're choosing not to back date it) ...example... if you're tagged for November 25 but dont get to do it till November 27... and you're not back dating.. it's okay to do it as Day 27 you can post these rules or something to this effect to help it along.. :-)

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Abba Father, your praises are my thanks. You have revealed to me your character through your names. You are the God that never lies and I am thankful I am your child.

Yahweh, I am that I am, you exist and pre-exist. I reverence your name for you shall always be forever.

ELohim, I thank you Lord for creating me for your purpose. I am here to give glory and honor to your name. I will praise and give thanks till the end of my days. I also thank you for the ones whom you created me through, my mom and dad. I couldn’t have chosen any better. I thank you for allowing my siblings to be created through the same blood and for placing us together. They are just so wonderful. My household and I will forever serve you Lord.

ELshaddai, I thank you Lord for being sufficient enough for me. Though, you have placed good friends and acquaintances in my path, I am happy that my worship is all for you. When the night was long you broke the dawn. When the storm raged so long, you calmed your child.

Jehovah Jireh, I thank you Lord for having everything under control and providing at the right time for my needs. Your gifts and blessings do not tarry and for that I am grateful.

Jehovah Nissi, I thank you for being my banner of hope, love and encouragement. Lord you are my rallying point and my means of victory over the devil. My battle belongs to you Lord.

Jehovah Shalom, I thank you Lord for your envelope of peace and rest in my life.

Jehovah Shamma, I thank you for being there for me. When I was in ruins, you restored me. You did not abandon me when I turned my back on you. Lord I say thank you.

Jehovah Rapah, I thank you for being the great physician who heals the physical and emotional needs of his people

I thank God for all the wonderful friendships I have made on blogsville. I can’t name you all. I am especially Thankful for TERC. It is wonderful to talk to people who are sold out to Christ. I pray that we not only be hearer of his word but also doers. And the good fruit will yield and produced more fruit which will feed the world in Jesus name (Amen)

I tag Rinsola, Afrobabe, Yayi, darkelee, solomonsdyelle, daddy's girl and Belle.

Premonition

2007-11-09T10:53:00.000-05:00

“I have been here before” I thought to myself. The warm room I stood in had a strange sense of familiarity to it. I surveyed the place like an architect looking for his signature on a building. I turned around confused; and there you were standing with your arms akimbo

“What are you thinking about?” you asked

“Your place looks very familiar. I feel like I have been here; in this very room”

You shook your head and turned away as if I was crazy. We both know it was impossible, the house was completed two months ago and this was my first visit. I moved towards the sofa but sat at its edge with my coat still on, fiddling my car keys. You pulled me into the couch, thinking it was the game we play, the one where I pretend to leave and you beg me to stay. Whereas, this time I was really feeling uneasy about the oddness of the intimacy with the room.

We watched a funny movie on TV and you placed your head on my lap, unconsciously I combed your hair with my fingers while you laughed at the silly dialogue. I laughed too. Not at the movie but at you because you giggle like a school girl in love. Your laugher was replaced by soft snores, your chest heaved at the sound of each breath you took. I still marvel at how fast you fall asleep. The movie was over and as if on cue, the grandfather clock chimed one and I knew it was time to leave.

I kissed you on the forehead and whispered into your ears “I am leaving”. You asked me to let you fall asleep before I do. I smiled and obliged even though you are already sleeping. I lay next to you and it took me thirty minutes to find my way to slumber land.

I woke up and could see the crimson sky with autumn leaves dancing to the wind’s praises through the parting of the curtains. It must be cold outside. The feelings of strangeness and familiarity came back strongly and I felt it should not be ignored. With my eyes closed, i tried to remember where I saw this room and what it signifies to me. I dug and dug deeper into my mind image box. Suddenly, it came back to me; everything much brighter and in more detail. My heart sank and I knew before I looked, a dark ring stain made by your coffee cup would be on the table.

I sprang up and checked, there the evidence was. The dampness and color of the stain on the wood gave its timeline away. The mark was recently made; it couldn’t have been more than a day old. I looked at you sleeping and tears filled my eyes. Slowly, I put my coat on and found my shoes. It was not until I got into my car that the tears let out. Yes, I have been in that room before. The same room in my dream where you would cry and plead with me to let you marry someone else and all I could do is stare at the fading dark ring on the coffee table.

And it came to pass

2007-10-22T11:33:00.001-04:00

From your trials and errors in the past 9 years you gained insight. Patience was the key and deceit was its lock. The plan was flawless and the lies were secured. Every step had to be thought carefully, the very end had to have had the perfect beginning.

With the dice cast and the game won, you placed me on the board for your amusement. First, it started with the phone calls, then your rigmarole; both elaborate and complicated. I know you will say I pushed you to it. Yes, I have heard it numerous times “Allied you never let things slide, you are too inquisitive”.

Since the ordeal, I have asked myself several times, how come I never saw it coming? I am usually in tune with things of this nature. Thinking about it now, I should have known. I saw the signs but my sunglasses blurred the vision. The warnings too were echoing but my ipod was more deafening. The secrets were glaring but I couldn’t be bothered.

I think the real reason I didn’t think you could do it was because I didn’t believe you could. After all, you failed for 9 years. What I didn’t realize was, though you failed all those years, you always tried. Noting all your wrongs and furthering it towards perfection.

The deed is done and it has come to pass. I am sure you are glad you pulled it off. I am also glad even though you know I hate surprises.

Thank you guys. I really enjoyed my surprise party.

** Me in the middle asking them how they did it. The plan was perfected to the point that I INVITED THEM TO THE PARTY**

What you call them they will become

2007-10-16T00:17:00.000-04:00

This picture was taken 20yrs ago. Funny enough i still look the same except for the hair. I am not into didi* anymore :)

I look back at the events that had transpired in the last 356 days and all I can say is THANK YOU LORD.

There were days I cried like there is tomorrow. Days I laughed and I ask you why you Love me so much. The days I was too ashamed to come into your presence, because I thought my sins separated me from you. Those days I ask you stupid questions. Days I asked you to renew the right spirit within me. Daft days I get angry at you for not keeping your promises. Fulfilled days I realized that I have not received your promises because I am ill-equipped for them. Countless days of my foolishness. Constant days of your loving and kindness.

Father, I don’t say this enough, but I Love you so much. I thank you for giving me the privilege of being your child. Because of your favor, I get the favor of men. I thank you for your mercies which are abundant in my life. Not only do you keep me safe, you also get me out of punishments I truly deserved.

Every year, a month before my birthday, I go into this “reflecting on my life” mode. I try to weigh the growth and stagnant places in my life, spiritually, physically, economically and socially. This year is no different. I went into my reflective mode, but with the WRONG attitude.

Originally, I got the attitude “this birthday is going to be different" because the things I thank God for last year now had a BUT or FULL STOP somewhere. That thought started the escalation of frivolous emotions…

Then I stumbled on Jeremiah 17vs 7 “7 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is. 8 For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit”.

I got on my knees and began to pray for forgiveness. The “God in Heaven who reveals secrets “(Daniel 2:28) has revealed to me that I need to be steadfast in spirit. I need to trust him.

All my reflecting should only be spiritual. Because when we are in good fellowship and intimacy with God, it is generally difficult for Satan to attack us in our spirit. Attacking our bodies is an entirely different topic, but Proverbs 18:14 (The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?) does show that if our spirit is in good condition, especially if our relationship wand fellowship with God is good, we can sustain through even physical/ emotional infirmity.

If I take on the attitude of not having a Good birthday, it will be so because I thougt and willed it. The battle starts from the mind. By establishing defeat in our minds, Satan can render us ineffective with minimal effort because that condition will dictate us, fueling off our own efforts!

For example, a baby circus elephant may originally need to be restrained by a chain around its foot. It will strain and strain against its bonds but after a while it knows that it is impossible to break free, so it eventually gives up. When the elephant is older, all that is needed to keep it from running away is a small rope. The adult elephant is very capable of breaking its bond now, but because it has been conditioned with the impossibility of breaking free for so long in its mind, it's given up without trying!

Things become what you call them. I call my birthday HAPPY and blessed.

Henceforth, I will start calling unspeakable Joy, everlasting happiness, heart full of praise and all the good things that the lord has willed in my life.

My life will become what I call it. And I call it a God Shaped Life.
Happy Birthday Allied. This year is just the beginning of uncommon favor in your life

*************************************************************

I stayed up all night preparing u guys these delicious food

Nigerian food is a must

I also love Indian Food

Get something to drink

Sins of the Parents

2007-10-10T14:14:00.001-04:00

“Allied, I have gist for you oh” said an acquaintance of mine. I guess every one has this type of friend, who always has gist. You listen and nod, maybe a comment here and there but you never dive in too much for fear of her mentioning your name when she is relating the gist to someone else. Also, you never get to close to her because you hate people that gossip but you never send her away because her stories are always juicy.

“Eh, you do? What happened” my ears already perked. Ok, I like gist as the next person. What can I say?

“Yes oh, but don’t say I told you. I am just telling you because I think you should know”

“Of course” I said, we both know she will use the exact same line to the other twenty people she tells.

“Do you remember Gbohunmi?”

“Gbohunmi? Gbohunmi? That name sounds familiar. I am not sure…..who is he?”

She smiled “You don’t remember, but you know I was talking about a boy. It might have been a girl now. Anyway, Gbohummi in night vigil”

Of course I know who Gbohunmi is, I was just “demoing’ for the girl. Before i know, a concocted a story about Gbohunmi and I will be carried through the tri state“cobalizing” me in one of her numerous gist.

“Is he the tall dark guy that plays the drum”? Another white lie, I knew Gbohun is the guy that plays the guitar. He is a cutie, but a lot of girls are after him and I don’t want to be counted in the number.

“No, the other one that plays the guitar” she said impatiently

“Oh, ok…. What about him?”

A laugh with mirth escaped her lips “My dear, the guy really likes you oh. It’s been a while now, we were talking yesterday and he told me”

Pulse racing, heart pounding… but I managed to stay clam “really, since when? And why are you the one relating the message”

“What message? he did not send me to you, I am just telling you. Infact let me land before you bury me. I asked him what he will do about it, but he told me, he can only like you from a distance. Cause of the complication” she paused for the effect of her words

“Complication? what complication?” asked curious me. “But I am not married, neither do I smoke or drink. Or is it because I don’t go to his church?” I shamelessly listed my biodata.

She laughed “no, he said he did his home work and he found out your parents are separated. You have been exposed to divorce, so it’s not likely you will make a good wife”

My jaw dropped. “What”?

She repeated herself, like I didn’t hear her the first time. “What a shame, you guys would have been a cute couple; I hate it when something like that happens”

“He said that? Who wants to marry him anyway” my ego was bruised. If she knew that I had already envisioned what our twins would look like. Nimi (Oluwalonimi) will inherit his dimples, and my beautiful face and long hair (by Nigerian standard) and Kintan (Ireoluwakintan) would have his daddy’s long eyelashes and mummy’s almond shaped eyes.

“Yes, he did. Guys think like that sometimes…. anyway I got to go, bye”

She left, and I stood there for another minute or two pondering on what she said. I have never heard of this before... “What?” I said loud again.

I decided to investigate further. No, not with Gbohunmi, but talk to other people and see if this is another disease that needs to be purged from the society, and Boy was I surprised. I found out that a lot of guys believe in such things. From, Nigerians, to Indians to Guyanese. They all punish the children for the “sins” of their parents.

Notice I put sins in quotes. Sin is defining what is morally unacceptable in each culture. WOW

I refuse to believe people think this way, WE ARE CHRISTIANS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
For once i am speechless…

The Perfect Boy

2007-09-25T16:25:00.001-04:00

I don’t know why he is refereed to as the perfect boy, but that is the name my dad coined for him. Dad of all people, who would flare up at the mere mention of a boy’s name from anyone of us girls, could not help beaming at the mention of perfect boy’s name.

I was out the day he visited our home with his mom. The whole household told me of their visit cohesively. From the way he smiled, to his courtesy and respect for elders. My dad never failed to mention that perfect boy voiced his opinions only when his mom asked him. To my dad, that is ideal respect. From what I heard, his mother asked for me and she expressed that the only reason she brought him along was to get us acquainted. My mother jokily told me that his mother was trying to send me a message.

I was shown his picture and i must admit, he is adorable. His smile, his laughing eyes, which were big, it was impossible not to be lost in them. And the best thing was that he had so much hair, I knew he will not be bald anytime soon. He must be a heart breaker wooing so many females with his charming smile. Instantly, the feeling of love enveloped me.

Yet when Mom voiced that we should pay him and his mother a visit, I felt some discomfort. He looks cute and all, but I don’t want to sacrifice my evening of luxuriating in the breeze reading a good book to decking up like a “good girl” and have a nice but proud mother look me over to see if I am fit to take care of her son.

When we got to their house, I was asked to sit next to him while our parents excused themselves. He watched his mother leave and he fixed his beautiful eyes on me, it lit up when I smiled. Even though no words were exchanged, I knew he liked what he saw. Suddenly, I smelled something disgusting and I covered my nose. I then looked at him with a naughty grin, as if on cue, he started crying and his mom picked him up from his bassinet to change his diaper.

The perfect boy do have flaws after all.

Already Complete

2007-09-17T16:09:00.000-04:00

Just because no one has been fortunate enoughto realize what a gold mine you are,
doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can't be topped,
doesn't stop you from being the best.

Just because no one has come along to share your life,
doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile,
doesn't give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of a woman you are,
doesn't mean they can effect your femininity.

Just because no one has come to take the loneliness away,
doesn't mean you have to settle for a lower quality.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level,
doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is,
doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king,
doesn't mean that you're not already a queen.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now,
doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

Keep shining, Keep running, Keep hoping,Keep praying,

Keep being exactly what you are already; Complete!

What did you hear?

2007-09-07T11:04:00.000-04:00

“But Mummy it’s Jacob” I said, screaming this time to get her attention.

“Which Jacob ?” she said

“Jacob Jacob”

“Jacob? Oh, our Jacob but Why didn’t you tell her that you were talking about Jacob?”

“Frankly mummy, it is not of her business who I was talking about and besides I was not talking to her, she was eavesdropping. You know it is one the things I detest. Why is she reporting me to you anyway? I am a grown up woman. I need to go”

“Are you now angry with me? I am doing my duty as a mother. If I hear something not pleasing, it is my right to ask you. And aunty did not do anything wrong, she is looking out for you that is how we do at home.

“Mom you did not ask me, you accused me”

“ok sorry.”

“Mom I need to go. Will talk to you later”

That was how the phone conversation ended with my Mom. To say I was upset is an understatement. I was fuming. It all started last week Sunday in church

********************************************************************
I need to clean the bathroom, run the dishwasher, which means I have to stop to get the detergent... ah, the laundry. Gosh! I also have to cook. I will do it after I sleep. Men, I am so tried.

“Halleluiah… Glory... Thank you Jesus”

My mind was transmitted back to church. Apparently, I had been thinking about all I had to do instead of listening to the sermon.

“… We need to break negative mind set, just because your parents are drunkards doesn’t mean you are going to be one. We need to talk about generational curses too….” My pastor was saying.

“Preach it pastor” my cousin was jumping and clapping.

I looked at her and I wished I had the energy to listen wholeheartedly. From the looks of it, it sounded like a very good sermon. But I had a sleepless night and coming to the early service was proving to a “not so great” idea.

“… face your neighbor and tell them, Neighbor, oh neighbor, the devil is not going to steal this mind because it belongs to God...” my pastor commanded

My cousin Tolani and I faced each other and repeated the same words. “… Say it like you mean it...” came the voice from the pulpit

Tolani repeated it this time but I said nothing. She raised her eyebrow, a gesture to ask what was wrong with me. I shrugged then wrote at the back of my sermon notes “Jacob slept over at my place last night”.

So? Came her reply

“I allowed him to sleep on my bed last night.”

“You shouldn’t have done that… You of all people…”

“I know right? But what is done is done. I will not repeat the mistake again. Can you believe he held on to me the whole night?”

She smiled and opened her bible. I knew more questions will be asked because she knew I was not like that with Jacob. After the sermon, Tolani had to run downstairs because her mother-in-law attended the same church with us and she had to go and show “face and mark attendance record”. I decided to go wait for her downstairs. On my way to where Tolani in-laws stood and conversed, I meet an aunty that is a friend of my mom. Her name is Aunty Laide. I greeted her and we made general conversation about how life is treating everybody in both our family. While I was talking to aunty Laide, my cousin came to join us.

We excused ourselves and said bye to aunty laide. Two pews down from aunty Laide, Ore, Tolani’s baby started to cry. We thought it was wise to feed him there and then before they begin their long journey home. We sat down and continued the story of Jacob.

“So? You finally gave in eh? Allied I always thought you were strong, but I can’t believe after all your shakara, Jacob still managed to sleep with you.” My cousin said

“WO, (look) I don’t even know how the boy did it, one minute we were watching TV, the next minute I dosed off. I woke to up to his silent tears. I asked what was wrong, but he gave me more tears. I was tired, so I just held his hands and led him to my bedroom and he slept, holding on to me.”

“Eya... I wonder what was wrong with him. Where is he now? How come he didn’t come to church with you?”

“Folarin came to pick him up this morning” I answered.

“Don’t tell Folarin because she wouldn’t allow him at your house again...”

“Point noted. Abeg, I need to go, I have a lot of things pending... I will call you later. Bye.”

“Bye”.

Monday Morning, my phone rang and my Mom was “bringing the house down” on the other line.

“Allied, eh, what is this I am hearing? Men are sleeping at your house? In your bedroom? ah.. Is this what you do because you have your own place?”

“What are you talking about” which men?

“Aunty laide said some guy slept at your house on Saturday… ahh why are you embarrassing me like this”

“But mummy…”

“Don’t mummy me, that is absolute rubbish and nonsense and I know you did not learn that foolishness from me”

“Mummy... listen”

“God knows I bought you up right… I can’t even imagine you were discussing that in church. Aren’t you ashamed?”

“But Mummy it’s Jacob” I said, screaming this time to get her attention.

“Which Jacob” she said

“Jacob Jacob”

“Jacob? Oh, Our Jacob but Why didn’t you tell her that you were talking about Jacob”

*********************************************************************

Now that we are back to the beginning, I will fill in the missing parts. Jacob is my 17 months old nephew. We are weaning him off sleeping next to someone because he tends to get up at night and feed. He has his own room and bed and the instruction was to let him sleep by himself under every circumstance unless he is sick.

But aunty laide did not get the whole fact. She went to tell my mom “These are one of the reasons we do not let girls live by themselves. Allied your daughter was boasting in church about the man that slept in her house last night”.

Next time I see aunty Laide, I will ask her “What did you hear?”

Cherokee Legend

2007-08-29T09:49:00.000-04:00

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?

His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN. He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own.

The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!

Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.

We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes all we have to do is reach out to Him.

Bind and Loose

2007-08-17T09:33:00.000-04:00

As a Nigerian, it is not an unwelcoming sight when i walk into a church and everybody is shouting/praying. It is embedded in us. After all, the bible says “Kingdom of Heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force”.

I remember taking my 5 months old nephew to a restaurant with a group of non Nigerians. Our waitress sat us next to the piano and despite the loud noise my nephew slept through the whole meal. We were there for 2 hrs. One of my friends commented on how he is such a good baby because he slept peacefully in his car seat and didn’t even stir. I just smiled. The truth is that my nephew has been going to night vigils every Friday since he was a month old. He is used to noise at this age.

Ok, where am I going with this? I have gone to many night vigils or churches where we were asked to intercede for another. I found that many Nigerians when they pray - always bind (Loudly may I add) rather than loose. Eg

“ I bind the generational curses in sister’s lagbaja family” or “ I bind all the enemies that are trying to destroy bro tamedu household”

Definition of bind - to fasten or secure with a band or bond. Or to fasten around.

Definition of Loose - free or released from fastening or attachment

Why do my fellow countrymen bind curses rather than loose? I have had to suppress numerous urges to stop my prayer and tell my neighbor (the person praying besides me) that “Aunty, you do not bind but loose” or maybe you can cast. But I am always afraid that they may see me as an ITK ( I too know) or rather label me as an enemy of progress or Bind me along with whatever they are binding ( I rebuke in Jesus Name - AMEN)

There are times when it is good to bind. Proverbs 3 vs. 3 states “Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: 4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man”

So my fellow Christians, Let us bind kindness and truth like a necklace and wear it as an adornment and find favor with GOD and man. Also, let us loose, cast, throw, command things that are not of God so we will have his blessings because:

“Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." (Matthew 16:18-19 RSV)

My Quest...

2007-08-13T11:17:00.000-04:00

A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape...but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape...

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything...but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear...

A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her...but a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone...

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future...but a woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be God's blessings and capitalizes on them...

A strong woman walks sure-footedly...but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls...

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face...but a woman of strength wears grace...

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey...but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong...

Bondage

2007-08-06T13:25:00.000-04:00

I awoke startled. Beads of sweat formed at the crown of my head then it trickled down my back for I was in the sleeping position. I hated the moistness and tried to move around to air dry it but to no avail. I looked around and could not recognize where I was, the room was semi dark and the only ray of sunlight in the room was shinning into my eyes. As I tried to shield the light with my hand, to my dismay I realized my hands were bound. Each hand was tied up at the wrist and covered with some kind of cloth. That made the operation of my fingers virtually impossible. My hands felt clumsy and I couldn’t free them. I was getting irritated now. First the sweat on my back, then the sunlight in my eyes, and now this impairment of my hands was proving to be a pain.

I tried to yell, but only came distorted whispers. I then realized I couldn’t move, I tried a few times but without success, the ache in my back made me know I have been immobilized for sometime now. I succeeded in letting out a loud scream, but that too didn’t last to long for I was exhausted. Maybe Dehydrated. I recollected that I was brought into this room some months ago. There were two. Who they were I do not know. One of them who seem to be the boss was always looking from afar, giving instruction on how things are to be done. He never came near nor did he say anything to me. But sometimes he would stand at the entrance of the room and stare for hours. I have seen him three times watching me sleep. The “other” one is very gentle and always smiled at me. She cleans the space allocated to me. She also bring me food which I will not take from her anymore because I suspect... no, I am sure, she puts sleeping pills in the food, cause all I do is sleep after I eat.

I concentrated back on my tied hands. I had to free my hands and get out of here. If they found out I untied my hands, they will put it back on, despite my protests. I couldn’t fight them, they were simply too powerful.

I attacked my bound hands with a renewed vigor. I shook them furiously and even tried to use my mouth to remove them. I was determined to get rid of them. That seemed to be my sole purpose in life now. I used my other hand and started shaking the cloth, trying to break free. Slowly, the cloth seemed to give way and my fingers gradually sneaked out. I got one hand free! I was jubilant. I gave out a loud cry of happiness. But before I could work on my other hand, the “other” walk into the room. I gave a very naughty triumphant smile to her so she would not suspect what I just did...

My mother shook her head in wonderment, as she entered the room. She said “Allied you have managed to remove the mitten – u this girl”. She started to put the mitten back on my tiny three month old hand again.

Scathered Lives 2

2007-08-01T15:01:00.000-04:00

I finally posted the part 2 of the story. Sorry it took a month, i cant lie that i was really busy, i just didn't know how to end the story. I had to update quick when

Anonymous revealed her identity
One blogger like this threaten to ban my blog
Another stalks me on the phone
and lastly the blogger that always asks, then encourage me with the word of God.

You all know yourselves.

********************************************************************

Leke, crouched near Lola and whispered “Marry me”. Lola suddenly became furious; she stood up violently and pain shot through her body. She had never imagined her first time would be taken forcefully. He robbed her of her fantasies. She looked down at Leke and spat in his face. “Shameless pig” was all she could utter.

Two months later, she found out she was pregnant and confided in her mom. Her mother’s reaction shocked her beyond imagination. Mrs. Kola held the end of her wrapper and danced around the room singing praises to God. Lola yelled at her.

“MOM why are you dancing? This is rape and I have a bastard growing in me” she said.“Hush your mouth! No grandchild of mine is a bastard. Why shouldn't I be happy? This is God’s doing. Leke is a good man. I know what he did is wrong, but he won’t leave you stranded and I also suspect you like him. You followed him voluntarily to the hotel. I just hope it is a boy so you can at least get that out of the way. Men love boys better. It is good that you are moving on. Have you told Wale?

At the mention of Wale’s name, it seemed a forceful wind knocked her off balance. She staggered back. Her mother ushered her to sit. Wale? She thought. How will she tell him? What would he think? She grabbed her purse and walked out of the house into the rain. Her mother ran after her. “Lola, where are you going? Lola, don’t do anything foolish, Lola?”

She continued. At first she walked fast, and then broke into a run. Though, it was raining, she could feel the hotness of her tears on her cheeks. It stung. What would she do? Should she abort? “O God No” she cried. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. She remembered her friend Tinuke who aborted her pregnancy while she and Wale were still in college. Tinuke never made it out alive. She died on the operating table. The doctors said something about her loosing too much blood. Abortion is not an option. She reasoned with herself. Wale is a rational man. He loves her, he will understand. She is the victim and Wale would see that... A decision was made to call him that very night.

She headed home. Her mom was not in the house when she got there. “Even better” she muttered. She dialed Wale’s number on her cell. It kept on ringing; no one answered not even his voicemail came on. She looked at the time. 7pm. It was midnight over there. She decided to call back the next day. Lola heard the front door open and close, her mother is home. She hurried towards the door in her room to lock it. But before her thought turned into action, her mom swung the door opened.“Please meet me in the living room” she said quietly and turned around to the opposite direction. Lola was not sure what to do? Is someone outside? She hoped her mom hasn’t told any of her father’s relatives. She lingered in her room a moment longer then she stepped outside.

Her legs almost gave in when she stepped into the living room. On the couch sat Leke. His arms akimbo and he was looking down at his feet. Her mom sat opposite him and gestured towards the seat beside her.“What are you doing here” Lola yelled“Oro ariwo ko” Mrs. Kola said quietly. She continued “Lola sit down and let us talk this out. Leke has promised to do the needful. I am glad to hear that”. Hate burned in Lola’s eyes. She looked at her mother “the needful”? She repeated. “And what might that be? Is he going to give me my virginity back?” she screamed as tears streamed down her face.

Leke spoke on cue. “I am willing to marry you. I really like you” I can’t forgive myself for what I did. But I thought you like me too. Lola ran into her room, locked her door and cried herself to sleep. Days passed and she hasn’t been able to reach Wale. She called his cell phone numerous times and it kept saying “the sprint PCS number you called is temporarily out of service”. She called the landline where he stayed and the Lady told her Wale moved out a couple of weeks ago without a forwarding address. Lola also sent him an email but it came back undelivered. She was worried. There was no way to contact him; she had exhausted all her options.

Several more months passed and her belly grew as well. Her mother invited her father’s relatives to come and speak some sense into her. Leke was also invited. They all came on a hot Saturday afternoon. Her dad’s elder uncle spoke

“Lola, we the elders of this family are here to talk to you. Even if your father is alive, we will still be here to talk to you if this same situation arises. Your mother came to report you to us that you don’t listen to her. She said if she talks, you are silent. If she is silent, you cry. She can’t take it anymore that was why she invited us. Mama Lola, am I wrong?”

“No sir”

He clucked disapproval and pointed towards Leke “do you know this young man?”

Lola did not look up but answered “Yes”

“Is he responsible for your pregnancy?”

“Yes”

He looked at Leke “Did you impregnate her?”

“Yes”

"Are you ready to marry her and give her your name?”

He beamed “Yes sir. I really love Lola”

Uncle Bayo continued “I don’t know if you love her or not, but you are going to marry her because of the shame you brought upon her. I don’t know why young men of today cannot control themselves. If you wanted a woman badly, you should have taken a wife or perhaps visited a brothel. Lola is not just someone’s child, she is our child. I will not tolerate any ill treatment from you towards her. Do you hear me young man?"

"Yes Sir”

"We have forgiven you, now ask Lola for her forgiveness". Leke prostrated on cue and he pleaded.“Lola, you have heard. And as your father, I am ordering you and not asking. I want you to work with your mother and choose a date. And young man, Tell your people to come and see us. Congratulations” he extended his hands and Leke shook it.

Lola and Leke got married and Anu was born 2 months later. Meanwhile, Wale had not contacted Lola until his recent email to her. She looked down at Anu and she knew instantly what she had to do to get Wale back. She will be prepared. She called Teniola, her housemaid and handed the baby to her. She instructed her to feed the baby and change her diaper. She changed into a boubou and stepped out of the house. She took the keys from her driver and drove herself to a mallam shop and asked him where she can get rat poison. He had some and sold it to her. She came back home and gave it to teniola to keep until “aunty Laide” her friend comes calling for it.

Leke came home, and was so happy to see Lola and Anu, ever since they both got married 6 months ago; he had lavished her with every wish of hers. But he loved Anu more, he is always eager to change her diaper or feed her during the night. He spoke to Anu in baby gibberish and she smiled.

“How did your day go” he asked Lola

“Fine” she snapped and went to their room and slammed the door. Leke was used to her tantrums. Sometime, Lola is affectionate and sometimes she is snobbish. He tried to atone for his sins at different times, but Lola would not forgive. He asked Teniola to bring his food and he spent the rest of the evening in his study.

Lola got another email from Wale. It gave details of when his flight will arrive. He also would like to meet up for old time sake. His email stated “sorry I didn’t contact you for a while. I thought it was the best thing to do. Now that you have settled down, we can talk as friends” He is probably being cautious. He still loves me. She thought.

Two weeks before Wale is due to return, Lola called her mechanic to her house. She said there was something wrong with her car brakes. The mechanic checked and told her everything is fine. She asked him to show her how the brake system works. He did and left. A week later, Leke died in a car crash. His brakes failed and his car collided with a truck carrying petrol causing a huge explosion. Lola was in mourning, she wore black. She declined allowing relatives to stay at her house. "I want to be alone" she said. A day before Wale‘s arrival. She fed Anu and cried while doing it. Teniola felt sorry for her because she thought Lola was crying for Leke. Lola put Anu in her crib.

Next day, Anu did not wake up. She died sometime during the night.Teniola discovered her. She screamed, she ran and told Lola. Lola just sat on her bed and cried. She refused to go see Anu. She beat at her chest and slapped herself. Teniola ran out to call a neighbor. Everyone came. This is a tragedy they all said.

Two days after Anu’s death, Lola was in her room waiting for a call or text from Wale. She decided she will have him come to the house. Family and Neighbors will not think anything of it. After all, she is in mourning and Wale is one of the sympathizers. It was a quiet afternoon and she needed a bit of distraction so she switched on the TV. The news was buzzing concerning the plane that went down in the Atlantic. It was coming from the United States, no one survived.
Names were been read and Lola heard Adewale Timi.

“It can’t be” – she screamed, her mother ran in – “Lola what is it? Take it easy. I know you are still in shock” Lola thrust herself to the ground.“My God what have I done? I have destroyed lives. Wale cannot be gone. Why? Why?"

Her mother was confused – “Wale? Hush Lola, Leke is your husband. Why do you keep saying wale?

“I have destroyed everything mummy. My life is done. I have no reason or desire to live." She kept rolling around on the floor.

Mrs. Kola was frightened. Lola her only daughter was loosing it. She hugged her daughter and busted out crying, "Lola its okay. God can see what you are going through. He will give you peace and replace all you have lost. Look at Job….."

"Mummy, you don’t understand, I killed Leke and Anu. I murdered them for Wale. Mummy God is already punishing me." Lola said sobbing

Mrs. Kola was in shock, she could not speak, she disengaged herself from Lola and started sobbing hysterically

"Wale why did you do this to me?" Lola sobbed. "Why? I did this all for you and you disappointed me."

Lola suddenly stopped crying, she got up from the floor cool and collected and walked towards the nightstand. She reached behind it and grabbed the rat poison. She remembered putting it there after she mixed it with Anu’s milk three days before. She looked at her mom, who was coiled on the floor still sobbing and said “I should have been content mummy. I should have known that life is a gift not a right. I destroyed those gifts.” With a swift movement she drank the content in the bottle. Her mom ran over and grabbed to examine the bottle. Mrs. Kola froze.

Lola went into convulsion, minutes later she breathe her last. Mrs. Kola wailed with all her might, neighbors rushed in, for teniola had gone to get help.What happened? They asked. They saw the bottle and shook their heads. Why? Why did she do this? You should have been watching her for she was still distraught” they said. Mrs. Kola wept uncontrollably shaking her head. She is determined to keep her daughter’s secret. Her family honor should not be jeopardized. She will be the seed that decides the harvest around her.
***********************************************************************

With regard to Lola, I saw it from two points of view...if i go the Shakespearean route, then every one must die, and then I thought of David (Bible) also. He too killed for love and then suffered the consequence by losing a son, but his story continued...I think the wage of Lola’s sin is Wale's death and being able to live through it will be her redemption. But I don’t know how to live out that redemption.

Someone can take the story up and give it a befitting ending.

Life...

2007-07-25T15:16:00.000-04:00

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it." "If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. "In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on." "As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later, after you've rested.

He Understands

2007-07-20T10:54:00.000-04:00

I Said:
Sometimes I feel like giving up
It seems like my best just isn’t good enough
Lord if you can hear me
I am calling you
Do you see, do you care
All about what I am going through?

God Said:
One more day
One more step
See I am preparing you for myself
And when you can’t hear my voice
Please trust my plan
For I am the Lord,
I see U and YES I understand.

Then I Said:
Sometimes I feel like I am alone
I am just like a stranger so far from home
I feel like I have done all that I can do
Please lord, give me strength
I am just trying to make it through

God told me again:
Just One more day
Just One more step
For I am preparing you for myself
And when you can’t hear my voice
Please trust my plan
For I am the Lord,
I see U and YES I understand.

Then I Said:
But , But Lord,
This is more than I can bear
It has become so hard to share
I know you said you will always be there
But you have forgotten me here

God Said:
I am the Lord, I changeth not
I won’t forget nor have I forgot
You see everything works according to my plan
I am God trust me
I have got the whole world in my hand

Scathered Lives

2007-06-28T09:48:00.000-04:00

I am coming home
Love,

Wale

That was all the email said. She read it again and checked the time it was sent. 9:17pm last night. She made some calculations; he must have sent it around 3pm his time. Joy and happiness both rolled into one emotion. She is excited. Finally, they are to meet again. At last, they will be together. Her thoughts ran wild. Will she still look beautiful to him? Will he recognize her? What if he doesn’t love her anymore? She looked at herself in the full length mirror, Her body is still in shape, her hair which he loved so much is cut short but it brings out her beautiful almond eyes, her breasts are bigger and fuller which pleases her. She thought about what will she wear when she meets him? She remembered he loved to see her in pink, but it is possible he has changed after 2 years. No, he is still the same person, her heart tells her so. She smiled to herself, and reminisced on how things were between them before they parted.

Lola and Wale met in college and their relationship began as friends. Within a year, it grew into something deeper, though nameless. Friends from each side teased them about it. During their last year in college, Wale kissed her while they were arguing about some trivial thing. She still remembered that kiss after three yrs. He asked her to marry him. She accepted.

Lola was brought back to reality when Anu cried in her crib. She looked at the baby with sadness. How will she explain? She picked up the baby from the crib and looked at her closely. Anu is a very beautiful baby, how she wishes she belonged to both of them. She studied her baby for another minute, Anu, happy to be at her mother’s bosom smiled and rage consumed Lola. Anu had Lola’s features but her nose and smile were that of her father Leke. She remembered the circumstances how she met and married Leke. He had been one of her father’s friends. Even though, he was younger to her father, he was still treated as an equal because of his wealth and position in the community.

When Lola and Wale both graduated from college, Wale got admission into a university in the United States to study his MBA. He was not from a rich family nor did he know anyone in the U.S. He had to come up with money for his fees, room and board. Lola’s family was not financially well off, but because her father was well respected within their community before he died, she had contacts to family friends who are wealthy. One of such friends was Leke Sanni.

Leke Sanni is a business tycoon who is both shrewd and generous in his dealings. He made his wealth through family inheritance but also had the business sense to continue to make more. At the age of 39, he still had no plans to settle down; He is not a womanizer but known to be in company of beautiful women. One day, Leke saw Lola at the entrance of his company, and he quicky ushered her in, not because he recognized her but because her beauty caught his attention. When they got to his office, he was very nice and warm to her, he asked her if she wanted anything to drink but Lola declined

Mr. Sanni, I am Albert Kola’s daughter, Lola. I came to you because you are one of my father’s friends and I need your help” She started refusing to meet his eyes

“What is it my dear” he asked not in a fatherly way

“I have a friend who is so dear to our family, he needs a loan to go aboard and he also needs a job when he gets there. Knowing someone of your caliber will help him”

“Who is your friend?”

“His name is Wale Timi, we grew up together. My father treated him like his son when he was alive.” Leke remembered Lola’s father as a generous man. Even when he didn’t have, he made it a point to give. But how come he never realized how beautiful Lola was? He asked himself. Leke sensed what she had not said. He knew Wale and Lola were more than friends; he conjured up a plan. He pushed his chair back and stood up.

“Lola” he said softly as he walked over to her and gently placed his left hand on her shoulder. Then he continued “I will help you.” Your father was a very nice man and once upon a time, he too was there for me” She was grateful to hear this. She asked him when Wale can see him. The arrangement was made and Wale was given his loan and he left the country promising Lola that he would come back for her.

Four months passed, Lola paid a visit to Leke Sanni to thank him for all he did for Wale. Leke was glad he could be of assistance. He invited her to dinner, and she accepted. When they got to their destination, she realized it was a hotel, a bit perplexed, she questioned him

Mr. Sanni, why are we here?

“To eat” he said. “Haven’t you dined in a five star hotel before?”

Lola felt embarrassed and she smiled. He continued “Don’t worry, there will be other people joining us if you are feeling uncomfortable”

She relaxed when she heard that. He led her into a private suite. Dinner was ordered. Lola began to feel uneasy because they only ordered dinner for two. She questioned him again

“Mr. Sanni, why are you holding a meeting in a suite instead of a conference room and shouldn’t we order dinner for the rest of the group?”

He answered “No, dinner is just for us, and the meeting is being held here because of its confidentiality.” She excused herself to the bathroom. While in there, Leke laced her drink with a sleeping drug. Lola came back, apologized that she had to leave. Leke asked her to at least have a drink before she leaves, she had the drink, something didn’t feel right, and she knew it. It was too late though; she began to feel drowsy. She staggered her way to the bed to sit down and only minutes later, she fell unconscious as she watched Leke walk towards her.

Lola woke up with a headache, she looked around, but could not recognize where she was. She got up and realized she was naked. Could it be? She wondered as her hands tried to hide her body from the morning light. Still doubting, she hurriedly grabbed her clothes from the floor. Leke heard her from the bathroom and he ran into the bedroom to meet her; He was smiling. This is when it hit her, there was no longer need to doubt, his face told her the story of last night; she is a woman, her body confirmed it.
With her eyes welled up with tears and her clenched fists making a thousand promises of pain, she darted across the room and lunged at Leke. She hit him till her hands gave up and her legs gave in; she collapsed to the floor sobbing.

To be continued…

Well said

2007-06-22T09:06:00.000-04:00

How many of us feel this way?

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Behind the poem

2007-06-20T10:39:00.000-04:00

The Poem

When two separate souls meet

something beautiful can happen

When two different souls intertwine s

omething exotic can develop

When two distinct souls become one

someone somewhere envies their bond

When one soul wars with itself

someone at home gets torn apart

When we are tired, weak and weary of war

somehow we go back to the beginning

When we learn to make our soul work as one

somehow how love grows even more

When two separate souls meet

something beautiful can happen

The train moved violently knocking everyone to the same side. He bumped into me, and muttered a quiet sorry. I nodded without looking in his direction. He moved closer towards me this time without the help of the train. I looked at him and his eyes held my gaze. He wasn’t exceptionally handsome, but everything about his face seemed perfect; his eyes had kindness in them, a “cute as a button” nose and his ears looked like they would be fun to twist. His hair is full and wavy, I felt like running my hand through it. He has thin lips which look like a smile and his eyelashes were long and heavy like that of a woman. All these features, I observed in 20 seconds, and then I looked away. He got off at the next stop, but not without leaving his business card on my lap.

When two different souls intertwine

something exotic can develop

Work was exhausting, but I managed to catch the 8:05pm train. I saw him, again, sitting at the corner of the train reading a book. I had been looking at his business card all week, even picked up the phone a couple of time, but didn’t have the nerve to call. I didn’t want him to think I was easy, frankly I like to be pursued. I don’t know how that defines a relationship, but it is a role society has given me to play, a false sense of having the upper hand. As I looked at him from a far, I saw the book he was reading was the Holy Bible. Once I realized he was readying the Bible, I felt all sense of the rules of dating went out the window; I gathered my confidence, walked up to him and I whispered in his ear “would you like to have a cup of coffee with me”?

When two distinct souls become one

someone somewhere envies their bond

We met regularly for coffee breaks, lunches and other reasons to see each other. We were both eager to share the meaningful experiences in our lives. Our friends came to know of us only by our name. We had so much in common, and those few things that were uncommon were exciting. Friends kept asking “What is it about this person? Who is he/she? Why are you smiling ?” All the questions gave me more reasons to smile. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was, what if I had missed that train? What if I hadn’t been bold enough to go talk to him first the second time I saw him? The time came when we introduced ourselves with each others friends. Our friends seemed very happy for us, but as an African adage goes “Don’t mistake the whiteness of one’s teeth for a pure heart”.

When one soul wars with itself

someone at home gets torn apart

“Have you found someone?” my mother screamed from the end of the line.

Why? I asked, not bothering to tell her to keep her voice down.

“Because when I talk about marriage, you don’t get angry anymore”

“Ma, I have decided not to argue with you about that matter anymore, there is no point for me to get angry everyday".

My mother continued by saying, “I know you, I am your mother, I have watched you grow the past 25 years, you can be very rebellious if you want to, God knows I did everything right with my parents, I don’t know why he had to give me a rebellious child”.

“Ma please focus…. I have to get back to work in 15 mins. Can I talk to you later?”. She spoke even louder, “No, just tell me yes or no, have you found someone”?

I wasn’t sure if I should tell my mother, this woman is very unpredictable. There was a time when we passed a beggar and I threw the change from my pocket into his bowl, she slapped my hands, complaining that I am part of the reasons these people don’t get jobs by helping them afford their booze. The following month, we passed the same street and a beggar came toward us, she begged for money to feed her children, I gave her a cold look and walked away. My mother shouted at me, for not having compassion, saying “how is it that I gave birth to this girl? Everyone in my family is caring, you must have gotten those traits from your father’s side” Ha!

I decided to tell my mother about my relationship; it’s been one year since I’ve been dating him and I feel it is the right time to share my joy with her.

“Ma I met someone, he is a nice guy with a great personality and hardworking too” I said all this in a rush and bit my lower lip waiting for her response.

“He is also Christian” I added quickly.

“Where is he from?” she asked calmly, but I can hear her breathing heavily

“He is Indian, from India” I said.

“Hm, I will talk to you later”; - - then a dial tone.

I look at the phone and wasn’t sure what to think, my mother as I said is unpredictable. As the thoughts of her calling anybody else in the family to tell about what I said and my doubts of should I have told her, raced through my head, my phone rang and it was him.

“Hey “I said smiling, I love how he calls at the right time.

‘How are u? he asked

“I am fine “

“ Sooooooo how are u? He asked again?

“I am fine” I said again “is there something wrong, you sound a little distracted”

“We have to talk; can you meet me after work?”

“Sure, I hope it’s nothing serious “I said

“No, ok I got to go bye’

We met in starbucks; he picked an isolated place, which got me nervous. He usually sits in front of the window watching people. He asked if I wanted to drink anything, I declined. He was noticeably nervous as I can see; he kept touching his tie and scratching his left eyebrow.

“What is it?” – I asked him in an anxious voice.

“Listen, I told my mom about us last week, and things are not going well. She said all kinds of things which I am not about to repeat. Her blood pressure has gone really up, she is in and out of the hospital, I am sorry I didn’t tell you this before, I tried to bear it all alone, but I can’t. As you know I am an only son and I have a duty to perform. She has been there for me all her life and I owe it to her. I can’t continue this relationship, at least not now. We have to give ourselves time. I Love you, you have been there for me, but I don’t want my mother to die over something like this. Please understand me. I am very sorry.”

I wiped his tears with the back of my hands. His home is in turmoil and God knows what I will face when I get home. I hugged him, said “I understand “, then picked up my bag and left for the station. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I ran all the way to the station with tears streaming down my face. “Oh God this hurts” “why me?” i kept asking but as they say time heals all wounds.

When we are tired, weak and weary of war

somehow we go back to the beginning

I caught the 8:05pm train. I saw him sitting at the corner reading a book. The Bible. He looked up and smiled. He came over and said “would you care to have a cup of coffee with a friend?”

Those words were enough for me to understand we have found a friend in each other, for 3 years of separation didn’t matter. Our friendship begins again.

A proverb 31 woman in this day and age? Is it possible?

2007-06-14T10:35:00.000-04:00

Who is the proverb 31 woman? Lemuel wrote that his mother told him about this woman. We don’t know the basis of the story – It might have been who his mother was or the type of woman his mother wanted him to marry.

As Christians we know the bible do not lie. Everything in it has come and will come to pass. The reason for the description of the Proverb 31 woman is for Christian women to be like her...

A proverb 31 woman in this day and age? Is it possible?

Yes it is. Proverbs 31 woman is any woman who puts God first. The ideal woman of Proverbs 31 should encourage all women everywhere. Cultures changes, but this woman’s God-inspired character still shines brightly across the centuries.

Before I began to study the scriptures, I was very intimidated by this woman. This woman is the Crème de La crème of all women. I felt I couldn’t measure up to her. She is too ideal for today’s generation. Every godly woman wants to be like her but also dislike her because of her perfection. We believe we can’t measure up to her no matter how hard we try.

I have since realized that there are a lot of Proverb 31 woman in our generation. We are close to her more than we think. Even though, she is depicted as a married woman, a single woman can also be a proverb 31 woman. We will analyze the passage together and see how we measure up.

I will start from Proverbs 31 vs. 10. Put a Yes or No to every statement.

10 [c] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

Are you a woman of valor? – a strong and capable woman who can use her intuition wisely and listen to God

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

Do your husband/ family have full confidence in you? Does your industriousness add to the family income?

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

Do you do right even when it’s not convenient and profitable? Are you reliable?

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

Do you shop carefully for clothing for your family? Do you work willing?

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls

Do you get up early to start your chores and make sure you have the daily menu planned for your family? You don't just go to the corner convenience store to buy your supplies. You shop for quality within your budget. Sometimes you let your light shine and give little treats to your coworkers or neighbors?

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

Have you been involved in the process of choosing and buying a home? Do you know what rents and house prices are in your neighborhood? Have you even taken some of your money to beautify your investment?

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

Do you keep yourself relatively physically fit and not afraid to "roll up your sleeves?" Looking after a home and family can, at times, be hard work.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

Are you a productive woman? Whether you are working away from the house or taking care of the home and family. Do you know your way around the bank and supermarket? Are you on the growing edge and not afraid to learn new things?

19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers

Can you use a thread and needle? Can you mend holes and split seams when it's necessary?

20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

Is your family your only concern? Do you have a heart for the needy people in your community? Do you give to the food bank on occasion, and help out when a neighboring mom is ill. Charity is part of God's plan for Christians.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Do you provide clothing for the family? It is one of her responsibilities. She takes this seriously, and plans ahead. She does not practice crisis management. This woman has high standards and dresses properly for the occasion.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

Do you pray for your husband? Do you stand with him in all things...? This man does not have to spend half his time trying to straighten out problems at home and his success in the social world comes partly from her support, just as her success comes partly from his support. The original woman of Proverbs 31 couldn’t phone her husband for his opinion on matters. She made many of the day-to-day decisions about their property and goods. He trusted her to manage the estate efficiently.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

Could you manage my own home-based business? This woman runs a business from her home. Her efforts and industry add to the family income

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

Are you confident that God is in control? He gives you strength and dignity. Your relationship with Jesus Christ gives you the confidence to not always be worrying about the future.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

Do you speak words that are wise and true? Do your friends trust you to speak the truth? This woman is well read and has the facts. She knows what she is talking about. Whether about her job, her personal values or her opinion on world events, she is able to express herself intelligently, tactfully and diplomatically. People come to her for good advice.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Do you supervise your own household well? Are you an organized, energetic person who carries out her responsibilities?

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

Are the praises directed towards you from your husband and children well earned? Are you trying your best to serve them through Jesus Christ? This woman is not a doormat, slavishly trying to appease and please her family, no matter how unreasonable their demands. She is honored in her home. Here we gain an insight into the character of her husband as well. He teaches their children to respect her and the virtues she personifies. A role model for women of all time

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Here is the key to this woman’s effectiveness. Her priorities are determined by God’s will, not her own. She is concerned about what God thinks, rather than with what other people think. Physical beauty and clever conversation are admirable qualities. But if a woman’s beauty and charm are the extent of her virtues, what happens when time and the trials of life take their toll? This woman does not depend on beauty and charm for her success. She recognizes her need for God.

Do you Fear the Lord?

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Her Christian works bring nice comments from friends and family, neighbors and coworkers. Her reward is eternity. This woman is actively doing, not merely talking. She does not boast about her plans for the future or her successes of the past. They are obvious

So, how did you do? Tally up your "Yes" and I think you will surprise yourself. The lines should now be erased between you and that "perfect" woman of the Old Testament. You are one and the same.

15 things Me-me

2007-06-12T12:26:00.000-04:00

1) Immediately I came out of my mom’s womb there was a black out. The placenta was still inside her. I guess for this sole reason, my mom always think I need deliverance.

2) I bear a man’s name. It is equivalent to a girl named Abraham. Even Nigerians find it weird. Many a times, when we were younger, my female friends got slapped just because they told their parents they visited their friend A*’s house. They thought their children went to a boy’s house.

3) I sucked my thumb till I was ten years old

4) I hate confrontations. It makes me so uncomfortable

5) I observe before I interact. This gives people the impression that I am very quiet, but my close friends will tell you I can’t shut up.

6) I am a neat freak – I will clean everything under the sun.

7) I can cook almost every Nigerian dish. This is an accomplishment for me because I was not allowed to enter the kitchen when I was younger. I was a very clumsy child. I learnt by going to this woman that had a Nigerian restaurant by my house.

8) My name was changed 3 times before I was 3. Thank God I don’t have multiple personalities.

9) Talking about names – I have a weird, unique (at least I think so) and RAZZ middle name. The name has been the “butt” of many jokes. What was my family thinking?

10) I can’t keep malice with anybody. It bothers me when someone do not talk to me because of something they think I did.

11) I can’t relate to my siblings. I have tried several times but they see me as one of their aunties rather than a sister. We are generations apart

12) I have older friends because I have always been the youngest in my class. I was skipped 3 times in school.

13) I have to eat/munch and drink in the middle of the night. I always have a bottle to water and some snacks on my night stand – and NO I am not a WITCH.

14) I am a very light sleeper. I don’t sleep well if someone sleeps next to me.

15) Lastly, I Love GOD. I have a relationship with him that only he and I understand. I want to submit myself totally to him (I am still working on it). He had mercy on me. His mercy was not only to get me out of the punishment I deserve but also to grant me favors that I am not worthy of.

Never Say Never

2007-06-06T13:12:00.000-04:00

There is a phrase abi is it adage that says “Never say Never”. I now believe the adage. When someone narrates to me, an incident that happened to them which sounds like something from a Nollywood or bollywood all I do is gasp and say ahhh... eheh… o tio…pele... etc

But something happened to a very careful me last weekend that I still can’t believe.

Ok, last Sunday – I woke up at 8:15am and realized that I will be late for church. The previous day had been an enjoyable/painstaking Whitewater rafting experience (again). I came home in the wee hours of the morning with pain in my shoulders and bum. I had unconsciously told myself I was going to make it to church the next day – ( Mom, see I remember some of the lessons u thought me) – “if you have the power to stay out late last night then you have the power to get up early in the morning to go to church ” ( my mom use to say)

My church is about 30 mins from home and I was already 25 mins behind normal Sunday schedule. Maybe, I should have just gone back to sleep and go for the 11am service but the angel in me just wanted to get church over with and get back home for 11am so I can have all the day to myself. Hence, I rushed to get ready for church, known that i will miss praise and worship but at least I will be on time for the sermon.

At 8:53am I got into my car. Mind you Church started at 8:30am. I started the car, turned on my AC because it blazen HOT, inserted my ipod into the FM transmitor and Yinka Ayefele voice was heard by my neighbors. I jerked the gear in reserve and off to church. I was on a mission to make a 30 mins drive into 15mins. Normally, on my way to church I usually stop for gas, but as it was that I was REALLY late, I decided to skip this ritual and make it to church before the sermon began. Shebi I can get gas on my way back.

Got to church in 20 mins - Went inside and sat in the balcony - after church, of course some people came over to say hi
“Ah, Allied you came in late. I saw you when you walked in”
“Allied kilode to pe de?” said another (Allied why did u come late?)
“I wasn’t that late – I came in during prayer.” I answered
I remember coming in when the pastor was praying. Don’t these people close their eyes? Emi o mo pe mi lo wa so ni church – (I don’t know if you are here to monitor me in church).

We sha said our goodbyes. I ran into another close friend T. with her beautiful baby. She apologized for not coming to my cousin baby’s naming. She then asked if we can visit my cousin A. Since A lives close to church it did not pose as a problem... That was how T. changed my agenda for the day.

We drove to my cousin house – To get to cousin A’s house, we had to go through the back drop of civilization. That is to say we saw nothing on our way there.

At 4 pm my friend T. left and cousin begged me to stay with the baby so she can go out to dinner and catch a movie with her husband. I agreed. They came back home at 11:30pm. Not to mention how pissed I was cause I have to go to work in the morning (I work in another state – so my commute is an early one). I got into my car at 11:45pm and turned on the AC and switched the song on my ipod to “Why me” - like my spirit knew that I will be asking God that same question in 5 mins.

As soon as I made the turn out of their complex, I remembered that I still hadn’t bought gas and my indicator was already in E (empty) since morning. Not to worry there are numerous gas stations on the highway. (so I thought)

On the highway, the first gas station I saw was closed. Okay – shebi there is another one down the road, I passed the second one and that one too was closed. Omo see how I started praying. I switched to gospel song to see if that would help God remember me – (The bible says enter his court with thanksgiving in your heart)

To cut the long story short – my car stopped in the middle of the highway. I kid you not when i tell you i started talking to the car - "baby, come on now – don’t do this to mummy" “Baby just start so i can get you off this road, you don’t want anybody ruining your perfect body do you?" “God please let her start" As if the car heard me or God pitied me (I will go with the latter) my car started. I changed into the right lane fast enough for it to stop again in another minute. Now I was on the last lane but still it is not a safe place. This highway is christen the 3rd most dangerous highway in the US – I know compared to Nigeria, it is probably the safest. My car stopped in the middle of the dark highway at 12am in the morning. I had no phone (I purposely left it at home because I was waiting for a call that I know will never come – Let leave that for another blog)

To be continued…

Unspoken Desire

2007-05-30T10:26:00.000-04:00

This is fictional. I love using first person singular because it makes me feel what my character is going through.

it is just a story. Enjoy!

The sound of his laugher fills the kitchen even though he is in the next room. My skin crawled but at the same time my heart also leaped.

He is the happy type and his laugher is the contagious kind. I remember those days when we were young and I loved to hear him laugh. I secretly blushed when Mom use to say “A happy man is a good husband”.

"Aunty Naomi, Mom is on the phone” my niece yelled

I dropped the peeled onion and cleaned my hands with the apron around my waist. I picked up the mounted phone in the kitchen

"Hello"

"Naomi, I will be home late. I have to stop by mom’s house... What is that loud noise?" my sister asked

With sadness I answered

"It is your husband laughing”.

What season are u in?

2007-05-25T09:17:00.000-04:00

Ecclesiastes

Chapter 3

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a

time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?

10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.

I don’t know why this particular chapter is always left for funerals! This is the meaning of life itself. We should read and reread this chapter while we are alive, so we can understanding what living a good life is.

I have passed different seasons in my life and will still pass many more. Some I overcame, some I rectified my wrongs and others I am still struggling with and in Jesus name I shall be Victorious.

There are many times I have groaned and cried “God, why me?”, there are occasions that I have fought with GOD ( I know, I am such a silly girl). And there are times I will call on him to remember the promises he made. When i am finished with my tantrums, i read the bible to show God his promises, then I remember this chapter and it gives me the clarification – we have to go through all season “under the heaven”

Why?

Because God has made us in such a way that we are not satisfied with life as it exists "under the sun.” If we were, we will not look towards heaven. We have to be pushed out of our comfort zone in order to praise him. And by virtue of this appointment of God, all vicissitudes which happen in the world, whether comforts or calamities, come to pass. Which is here added to prove the principal proposition, That all things below are vain, and happiness is not to be found in them, because of their great uncertainty, and mutability, and transistorizes, and because they are so much out of the reach and power of men, and wholly in the disposal of God."

This is to remind me how much life is beyond my control."

So whenever that promotion didn’t fall through – I remember my planting season

When that boy breaks my heart – I remember my healing season

When things are not going right in my life – I remember my build up season

When that thing I am asking God is not yet here – I remember my time to get season.

New opportunities will arise; but sometimes we’ll just have to wait patiently for such opportunities. At other times we’ll lead more aggressively, other times we’ll need to stand back and watch as God works as only He can to prepare us for the next season in our life.

know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one's lifetime; 13 moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor -- it is the gift of God. (Ecclesiastes 3:12-13).

While you are in whatever season - always REJOICE! "There is nothing better" - literally, "not good for a man except to REJOICE, to eat and drink and tell himself that his labor is good." God is indicating that this is as good as it gets in this life.

That you REJOICE
That you do good while you live
That you see the fruit of your labor
And that you recognize all of this as a gift from God.

How the company views its employees

2007-05-24T12:41:00.000-04:00

The family picture is on HIS desk. Ah, a solid, responsible family man.
The family picture is on HER desk. Umm, her family will come before her career.

HIS desk is cluttered. He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.
HER desk is cluttered. She's obviously a disorganized scatterbrain.

HE is talking with his co-workers. He must be discussing the latest deal.
SHE is talking with her co-workers. She must be gossiping.

HE's not at his desk. He must be at a meeting.
SHE's not at her desk. She must be in the ladies' room.

HE's not in the office. He's meeting with customers.
SHE's not in the office. She must be out shopping.

HE's having lunch with the boss. He's on his way up.
SHE's having lunch with the boss. They must be having an affair.

The boss criticized HIM. He'll improve his performance.
The boss criticized HER. She'll be very upset.

HE got an unfair deal. Did he get angry?
SHE got an unfair deal. Did she cry?

HE's going on a business trip. It's good for his career.
SHE's going on a business trip. What does her husband say?

HE's leaving for a better job. He knows how to recognize a good opportunity.
SHE's leaving for a better job. Women are not dependable

Second heart break!

2007-05-18T10:12:00.000-04:00

I have always been an avid reader. Being an only child for a while before the other little munchkins came along and stole my "shine", I read because there was no one to play with. Yes sure, I had cousins and friends, but they too had houses they had to return to. Reading gave me imagination. Imagination gave forth images. I had to put them down into words because it is too much in my head.

Such is this story. Enjoy!

Despite the ten years of separation, I still feel the same strong urge to hug and kiss him. He was sitting in the back sit of my mom’s car. They came together to pick me up from the train station.

Why is he with mom? I thought. Why would she think it is a good idea to bring him along? Did she think I am over him? I refuse to look at him; it brought back so much pain. I remembered the day they broke us up, the hours I spent crying and the minute I had to let go. I still remembered how mom lectured me on the consequences of being strongly attached to anyone or anything beside her and dad. My friends also told me it’s for the best. It was time to move on.

I never did move on. Nothing compared to him. I decided that he was going to be the last in my life. I needed no other replacement.

I knew all my reminiscing was of no use. He now belonged to another. Someone I know for a fact doesn’t deserve him. She never treats him well; I have seen them a couple of times together. I usually just stared at him from afar, even though no words were exchanged, I knew he was not happy.

My mom sensed my uneasiness, she squeezed my hand, somehow telling me I had to be strong. She asked if I was alright, I nodded. We talked as if he was not in the car, he too just gawked ahead. We got to his home. I refused to say another goodbye. As mom opened the back door to let him out, aunty emerge from her house

“Nadia, what are you doing here” she asked my mother

“Hello Anu. I came to return your daughter’s teddy bear. I found it behind the couch this morning; she must have left it after your visit last night”.

Mom handed him to aunty Nadia and we left their house.

I hope it's Finished!

2007-05-17T11:14:00.000-04:00

I lie if I say I am keen on blogging this story. It chokes my spirit. Hopefully it will be the last we will hear of it. I mean, I am not use to having drama like this in my life.

Anyway, I conclude the story with sadness- Seye’s wife is now in the hospital with a broken jaw. I will tell you the version of the story I heard. Which I don’t believe wholeheartly.

Allegedly, Seye went home after he spoke to me to “warn” Olatilewa to stop the harassment. They argued for at least an hour and she still didn’t see reason. He then decided he had had enough argument for the night; he grabbed his jacket and headed out the door. His wife ran after him, I guess to drag him back into their flat. She ran down the stairs to catch him in the lobby because Seye took the elevator. She slipped, fell on the stairs and rolled down 2 flights of stairs. I have been to their complex and I can tell you those stairs are steep. Her lips were cut and her jaw broken.

Only God knows if that is what really happened. Just read on to see the reason why I think maybe – just maybe Seye beat his wife to this condition. The story of falling down might just have been concocted to avoid eyes in the hospital.

I know some readers have questioned the wife’s insecurities in her marriage. Well she has her reasons.

Seye called me yesterday to relate the story to me. His words “she got what she deserved – my God, can you believe I found your name and phone number under her pillow”.

Allied: Don’t say that, I pray for her recovery. But why does she have my name under her pillow? Anyway, I am not afraid I am covered by the blood of Jesus. But Seye, please don’t call me anymore, at least until she knows there is nothing bwt us. I can’t handle stuff like this. I will hate to come to London and the girls are holding on to their husband and Boy friends just because they see me in sight. Please I don’t like drama.

Seye: Ahh... Allied ma so be mo (don’t say that again) you are breaking my heart. I like talking to you. You are just a nice girl.

Allied: please understand... I just want to clear my name from this mess. Or do you want people to think it’s true. Think about your own reputation (Why did I think he even had a reputable one)

Seye: What if I tell you it will not bother me?

Allied: what do you mean?

Seye: When you were in London, did you realize I came by all the time? I like your spirit. I had to question God why I didn’t meet you earlier. I know I shouldn’t be saying this but I like you and I am telling you that now……and,

Allied: Seye kilo ro pe on so? (What do you think you are saying) ahh... alokoba ma n e ke? (You are a betrayer) Ase oto ni pe eniyan buruko ni e (So it is true you are a mean person) I can’t believe what I am hearing? Don’t you know you are married?

Seye: Allied ma binu (don’t be angry) but I had to say it. I felt this way a while ago. We both know I can’t marry you, but who knows what can happen in the long run?

Ori boy yi o pe (this boy is crazy)

Allied: You know what…. Seye, please don’t call me again – cause if I say what is on my mind – I will wrong God. I have many names I want to call you right now, but you are not worth it. Please jabo lori phone mi jo (get off my phone)

I hung up. People, what kind of man is this? His wife is in the hospital and there he is trying to “toast” another girl.

All is well. I have decided to put all this behind me. And I pray that God heal his wife completely- physically and emotionally.

Something is up

2007-05-16T11:54:00.001-04:00

Hey all...

Hope all is well with everybody? This week has been a blessing even with all the “buts” in it. I promised I was going to give the update of Mrs. Olatilewa. Anyway I don’t like the way the drama ended (has it?)

After my conversation with the wife, I immediately picked up the phone and called the husband’s sister (Sister Bose) to tell her what happened. The sister said I shouldn’t worry; she will talk to Olatilewa and sort things out.

My mind was then at ease…. (Maybe I should not have relaxed so much)

Sister Bose’s way of approach baffled me. She called her brother Seye to ask if he is in love with me (WHAT!) – From where to where? (Her brother told me this)

Seye called me to apologize about his wife behavior but he said something that also baffled me as well “Allied sorry about this whole thing – the girl is crazy and I assure you that it will never happen again, I will deal with her”

Allied: “Wa (come) what do you mean you will deal with her?

Seye: Don’t worry about that, I will show her what she wants to see

Allied: hmm Seye, I am know this is ur household, but I hope you are not going to do what I think u will do?

Seye: What is that?

Allied: (I swallowed and spoke in a whisper) you are not going to hit her?... right?

Seye: Allied leave that one alone… I am just calling to apologize... Sister Bose said u were angry. I will take care of it... I will call you later

Allied: Seye, a real man doesn’t hit his wife ooo… I will be disappointed if you do, and please it will look like you are beating her for me… What kind of man are u? Seye please this is not how to solve the problem. Just tell her we are not dating... Seye... Emi so temi (I am saying my own).

Seye: Don’t worry I will not do anything... I will just warn her… I have to go. Sorry again.

Seye hang up. For a reason, I was afraid. What have I caused? Husband and wife will be fighting cause of me? When did I reach this stage?

I decided to call Sister Bose.

Sister Bose: Hello, Allied, I have spoken to Seye, and he is going to talk to Olatilewa, so she will not bother you again. But I have something to tell you.

Allied: what is it?

Sister Bose: I know my brother, I think he likes you.

Allied: Aunty Bose, what are u saying? Seye has said anything of the sort. We do not chat and we have only spoken on the phone twice since my visit to London

Sister Bose: I know, he told me as well. But I am just saying. He might have an agenda.

Allied: Well be rest assured that nothing will happen. I do not date married men. I will not destroy someone else’s happy home.

Egba mi ooooo… I have to go to a meeting now.. will continue the story later.

What is she smoking?

2007-05-11T16:26:00.000-04:00

See me see trouble ooooooooooo

I woke up this morning to blinking lights … I looked towards my window still and there sat my laptop. Kilode? For some reason, the machine did not go into sleep mode. I looked at it closely and I saw someone had sent me numerous IMs. All saying “husband snatcher - leave my husband alone”

Okay oooooooo…. What is this nonsense? Tani eni to ni ise se ? (who is jobless person?)

I sha got up – I kuku have mortgage, car insurance and the whole lots to pay, so I cant afford to luxuriate in bed or reply to this crazy Ims… so I got ready for work.

I got to work and did my routine of prioritized items… made my coffee, checked emails, and checked my Oga’s calendar so I can know when to goof of during the day… As I did this, did that, I got another IM – the screen name I could not recognize. It said

Olatilewa: Good morning husband snatcher.

Me: emmm I reject that - Please who is this? O se aro (it’s too early for this)

Olatilewa: Please I know I im u so much last night, but I am begging you, please leave my husband for me.

Abi nnkan she girl yi ke ?(Is something wrong with this girl?)

Me: Please whoever this is should stop; I have a lot to do this morning…

Olatilewa: U have broken my home and u have the nerves to tell me, you have a lot to do… Ashewo oshi

Ahh… Egba mi... Is this for real?

Me: seriously who is this? Are u serious? Who the heck is ur husband?

Olatilewa: So… u steal husbands in bunch, you don’t even know who you are f***ing anymore…

Okay – at this point – I thought this is not a prank – this girl seriously think I have something with her husband. But I am sure it’s a case of mistaken identity.

Me: Olatilewa or whoever u are... I am not sleeping with anyone and the person I am dating is not even Nigerian, so I don’t know what you are talking about. And by the way what is ur husband’s name – just curious?

I don’t know why I gave her all this information – it’s not her business anyway, but I had to let her know, she is talking to the wrong person. I shouldn’t have even asked what her husband name was … but I did. For some reason this implicated me more.

Olatilewa: please don’t give me some sorry story – I know for a fact that he chats and calls you every night.

Me: say what!

Olatilewa: I am begging you… if you don’t want the whole of London to come down on you, you better leave him alone and go find your own man

Me: London? I don’t even live in London

Olatilewa: U don’t? How come u guys chat every night?

(eyeroll) Gosh! Did she really type that?

Me: what is your husband’s name?

Olatilewa: Seye (* name change)

Me: Seye? What is his last name – I know a couple of Seyes in London

Olatilewa: Seye Last name

Me: oh… Tilewa, it’s me. Allied. Remember I came to your house 2 weeks ago when I was in London? I came with Aunty Bose (*name change) your husband’s sister. I am the girl that is helping your husband with the Bank statement.

Olatilewa: U are a liar – you came into my house with the pretense of helping him, but I know your true agenda. Both of you pretended as if you don’t know each other... now you are so acquainted.

Me: Olatilewa, please give me my respect... I am not seeing your husband nor do I intend to. Also I do not chat with your husband every night. He had my screen name because I cannot pick up his calls due to the time difference. I told him if he has any question regarding bank statements– he should just send me IM. Your husband may have been chatting at night, but I assure you that it not with me.

Olatilewa: I am just warning you, LEAVE MY HUSBAND ALONE

Olatilewa has signed out!

See me see trouble… how do I sort out this problem now…?

To be cont.

I am here!

2007-05-10T16:50:00.000-04:00

Hello

I am not new to the blog world but new to the “Niaja” blogging (whatever that means). It is so interesting to read Nigerian bloggers for some reason. I feel a connection at some level (I don’t know why that is).. and they are much funnier.

Anyway, Una welcome me oooooooo… I will try to pen my thoughts down here carefully; I have always being a listener, so I guess it will be hard doing all the talking (or typing).

I will be *ranting* about random things, things that interest me, stories I write, poems I have written and other observations. I am someone who likes to try new things, hopefully I don’t bore you.

Some rants will make sense and other wont, the rants you don’t understand, means I am also trying to figure stuff out – that is where I will need your help. My grandmother always told me “it easier telling a stranger your story - because he/she won't be bias” I hope this adage will hold true to my benefit on this blog.

I will try to remain anonymous so I can be free with my thoughts – (hopefully)!

Till then

Later