Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Perfect Boy

I don’t know why he is refereed to as the perfect boy, but that is the name my dad coined for him. Dad of all people, who would flare up at the mere mention of a boy’s name from anyone of us girls, could not help beaming at the mention of perfect boy’s name.

I was out the day he visited our home with his mom. The whole household told me of their visit cohesively. From the way he smiled, to his courtesy and respect for elders. My dad never failed to mention that perfect boy voiced his opinions only when his mom asked him. To my dad, that is ideal respect. From what I heard, his mother asked for me and she expressed that the only reason she brought him along was to get us acquainted. My mother jokily told me that his mother was trying to send me a message.

I was shown his picture and i must admit, he is adorable. His smile, his laughing eyes, which were big, it was impossible not to be lost in them. And the best thing was that he had so much hair, I knew he will not be bald anytime soon. He must be a heart breaker wooing so many females with his charming smile. Instantly, the feeling of love enveloped me.

Yet when Mom voiced that we should pay him and his mother a visit, I felt some discomfort. He looks cute and all, but I don’t want to sacrifice my evening of luxuriating in the breeze reading a good book to decking up like a “good girl” and have a nice but proud mother look me over to see if I am fit to take care of her son.

When we got to their house, I was asked to sit next to him while our parents excused themselves. He watched his mother leave and he fixed his beautiful eyes on me, it lit up when I smiled. Even though no words were exchanged, I knew he liked what he saw. Suddenly, I smelled something disgusting and I covered my nose. I then looked at him with a naughty grin, as if on cue, he started crying and his mom picked him up from his bassinet to change his diaper.

The perfect boy do have flaws after all.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Already Complete

Just because no one has been fortunate enoughto realize what a gold mine you are,
doesn't mean you shine any less.

Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can't be topped,
doesn't stop you from being the best.

Just because no one has come along to share your life,
doesn't mean that day isn't coming.

Just because no one has made this race worthwhile,
doesn't give you permission to stop running.

Just because no one has realized how much of a woman you are,
doesn't mean they can effect your femininity.

Just because no one has come to take the loneliness away,
doesn't mean you have to settle for a lower quality.

Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level,
doesn't mean you have to sink to theirs.

Just because you deserve the very best there is,
doesn't mean that life is always fair.

Just because God is still preparing your king,
doesn't mean that you're not already a queen.

Just because your situation doesn't seem to be progressing right now,
doesn't mean you need to change a thing.

Keep shining, Keep running, Keep hoping,Keep praying,

Keep being exactly what you are already; Complete!

Friday, September 7, 2007

What did you hear?

“But Mummy it’s Jacob” I said, screaming this time to get her attention.

“Which Jacob ?” she said

“Jacob Jacob”

“Jacob? Oh, our Jacob but Why didn’t you tell her that you were talking about Jacob?”

“Frankly mummy, it is not of her business who I was talking about and besides I was not talking to her, she was eavesdropping. You know it is one the things I detest. Why is she reporting me to you anyway? I am a grown up woman. I need to go”

“Are you now angry with me? I am doing my duty as a mother. If I hear something not pleasing, it is my right to ask you. And aunty did not do anything wrong, she is looking out for you that is how we do at home.

“Mom you did not ask me, you accused me”

“ok sorry.”

“Mom I need to go. Will talk to you later”

That was how the phone conversation ended with my Mom. To say I was upset is an understatement. I was fuming. It all started last week Sunday in church

I need to clean the bathroom, run the dishwasher, which means I have to stop to get the detergent... ah, the laundry. Gosh! I also have to cook. I will do it after I sleep. Men, I am so tried.

“Halleluiah… Glory... Thank you Jesus”

My mind was transmitted back to church. Apparently, I had been thinking about all I had to do instead of listening to the sermon.

“… We need to break negative mind set, just because your parents are drunkards doesn’t mean you are going to be one. We need to talk about generational curses too….” My pastor was saying.

“Preach it pastor” my cousin was jumping and clapping.

I looked at her and I wished I had the energy to listen wholeheartedly. From the looks of it, it sounded like a very good sermon. But I had a sleepless night and coming to the early service was proving to a “not so great” idea.

“… face your neighbor and tell them, Neighbor, oh neighbor, the devil is not going to steal this mind because it belongs to God...” my pastor commanded

My cousin Tolani and I faced each other and repeated the same words. “… Say it like you mean it...” came the voice from the pulpit

Tolani repeated it this time but I said nothing. She raised her eyebrow, a gesture to ask what was wrong with me. I shrugged then wrote at the back of my sermon notes “Jacob slept over at my place last night”.

So? Came her reply

“I allowed him to sleep on my bed last night.”

“You shouldn’t have done that… You of all people…”

“I know right? But what is done is done. I will not repeat the mistake again. Can you believe he held on to me the whole night?”

She smiled and opened her bible. I knew more questions will be asked because she knew I was not like that with Jacob. After the sermon, Tolani had to run downstairs because her mother-in-law attended the same church with us and she had to go and show “face and mark attendance record”. I decided to go wait for her downstairs. On my way to where Tolani in-laws stood and conversed, I meet an aunty that is a friend of my mom. Her name is Aunty Laide. I greeted her and we made general conversation about how life is treating everybody in both our family. While I was talking to aunty Laide, my cousin came to join us.

We excused ourselves and said bye to aunty laide. Two pews down from aunty Laide, Ore, Tolani’s baby started to cry. We thought it was wise to feed him there and then before they begin their long journey home. We sat down and continued the story of Jacob.

“So? You finally gave in eh? Allied I always thought you were strong, but I can’t believe after all your shakara, Jacob still managed to sleep with you.” My cousin said

“WO, (look) I don’t even know how the boy did it, one minute we were watching TV, the next minute I dosed off. I woke to up to his silent tears. I asked what was wrong, but he gave me more tears. I was tired, so I just held his hands and led him to my bedroom and he slept, holding on to me.”

“Eya... I wonder what was wrong with him. Where is he now? How come he didn’t come to church with you?”

“Folarin came to pick him up this morning” I answered.

“Don’t tell Folarin because she wouldn’t allow him at your house again...”

“Point noted. Abeg, I need to go, I have a lot of things pending... I will call you later. Bye.”


Monday Morning, my phone rang and my Mom was “bringing the house down” on the other line.

“Allied, eh, what is this I am hearing? Men are sleeping at your house? In your bedroom? ah.. Is this what you do because you have your own place?”

“What are you talking about” which men?

“Aunty laide said some guy slept at your house on Saturday… ahh why are you embarrassing me like this”

“But mummy…”

“Don’t mummy me, that is absolute rubbish and nonsense and I know you did not learn that foolishness from me”

“Mummy... listen”

“God knows I bought you up right… I can’t even imagine you were discussing that in church. Aren’t you ashamed?”

“But Mummy it’s Jacob” I said, screaming this time to get her attention.

“Which Jacob” she said

“Jacob Jacob”

“Jacob? Oh, Our Jacob but Why didn’t you tell her that you were talking about Jacob”


Now that we are back to the beginning, I will fill in the missing parts. Jacob is my 17 months old nephew. We are weaning him off sleeping next to someone because he tends to get up at night and feed. He has his own room and bed and the instruction was to let him sleep by himself under every circumstance unless he is sick.

But aunty laide did not get the whole fact. She went to tell my mom “These are one of the reasons we do not let girls live by themselves. Allied your daughter was boasting in church about the man that slept in her house last night”.

Next time I see aunty Laide, I will ask her “What did you hear?”