“Allied, I have gist for you oh” said an acquaintance of mine. I guess every one has this type of friend, who always has gist. You listen and nod, maybe a comment here and there but you never dive in too much for fear of her mentioning your name when she is relating the gist to someone else. Also, you never get to close to her because you hate people that gossip but you never send her away because her stories are always juicy.
“Eh, you do? What happened” my ears already perked. Ok, I like gist as the next person. What can I say?
“Yes oh, but don’t say I told you. I am just telling you because I think you should know”
“Of course” I said, we both know she will use the exact same line to the other twenty people she tells.
“Do you remember Gbohunmi?”
“Gbohunmi? Gbohunmi? That name sounds familiar. I am not sure…..who is he?”
She smiled “You don’t remember, but you know I was talking about a boy. It might have been a girl now. Anyway, Gbohummi in night vigil”
Of course I know who Gbohunmi is, I was just “demoing’ for the girl. Before i know, a concocted a story about Gbohunmi and I will be carried through the tri state“cobalizing” me in one of her numerous gist.
“Is he the tall dark guy that plays the drum”? Another white lie, I knew Gbohun is the guy that plays the guitar. He is a cutie, but a lot of girls are after him and I don’t want to be counted in the number.
“No, the other one that plays the guitar” she said impatiently
“Oh, ok…. What about him?”
A laugh with mirth escaped her lips “My dear, the guy really likes you oh. It’s been a while now, we were talking yesterday and he told me”
Pulse racing, heart pounding… but I managed to stay clam “really, since when? And why are you the one relating the message”
“What message? he did not send me to you, I am just telling you. Infact let me land before you bury me. I asked him what he will do about it, but he told me, he can only like you from a distance. Cause of the complication” she paused for the effect of her words
“Complication? what complication?” asked curious me. “But I am not married, neither do I smoke or drink. Or is it because I don’t go to his church?” I shamelessly listed my biodata.
She laughed “no, he said he did his home work and he found out your parents are separated. You have been exposed to divorce, so it’s not likely you will make a good wife”
My jaw dropped. “What”?
She repeated herself, like I didn’t hear her the first time. “What a shame, you guys would have been a cute couple; I hate it when something like that happens”
“He said that? Who wants to marry him anyway” my ego was bruised. If she knew that I had already envisioned what our twins would look like. Nimi (Oluwalonimi) will inherit his dimples, and my beautiful face and long hair (by Nigerian standard) and Kintan (Ireoluwakintan) would have his daddy’s long eyelashes and mummy’s almond shaped eyes.
“Yes, he did. Guys think like that sometimes…. anyway I got to go, bye”
She left, and I stood there for another minute or two pondering on what she said. I have never heard of this before... “What?” I said loud again.
I decided to investigate further. No, not with Gbohunmi, but talk to other people and see if this is another disease that needs to be purged from the society, and Boy was I surprised. I found out that a lot of guys believe in such things. From, Nigerians, to Indians to Guyanese. They all punish the children for the “sins” of their parents.
Notice I put sins in quotes. Sin is defining what is morally unacceptable in each culture. WOW
I refuse to believe people think this way, WE ARE CHRISTIANS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
For once i am speechless…
** Me in the middle asking them how they did it. The plan was perfected to the point that I INVITED THEM TO THE PARTY**
