Monday, December 10, 2007

The Narrow Escape

“Iyabo Olayinka”
“Nurudeen odeyemi”
“Murktar Yaradua”
“Bolanle same last name as Allied”

My heart skipped a beat as the name bellowed through the loud microphone. My eyes; although fixed on my sandals saw the chilled stares of the other students through my peripheral vision. I also heard whispers of scandal rumored through the whole assembly.

“Bolanle same last name as Allied”

Even though I considered Bolanle a wimp, I knew she would not dare go on stage. Punishment was inflicted in the presence of all while exoneration was privately awarded, that was how it was unjustly done in our school. She couldn’t take the chance for a tabooed crime as mine.

“Class teacher and house mistress of Bolanle last name as Allied” please see to it that she reports to my office immediately. She is in more trouble than she can imagine, no one is allowed to skip morning assembly” Mr. Paseda and Ms Osikoya both nodded to the principal.

Courageous enough to return an intense gaze of my own, I looked up to search for Bolanle in the next row. Our eyes met. She gave me a deadly look which was contrary to her character. Molade and Rita, her friends did likewise. I made a mental note to write their names as both noise makers and vernacular speakers for that afternoon. The ascendancy of a class captain gave me such rights. The extent of my power was limitless within the thousand square feet of our classroom. It wasn’t my fault her name was called at the assembly, our English teacher Mr. Adeyemi made his common mistake.

Mr. Adeyemi, who regarded himself as a no nonsense teacher with well behaved students had a snobbish mannerism to him. He was one of those teachers who affect an offensive air of self satisfied superiority in matters of taste and intellect. I think he schooled in Ghana because he seized every opportunity to correct students and staffs alike; on their English pronunciation. “It is not pronounced eDUcation, its eJUcation”.

I still cannot fathom why Mr. Adeyemi called me Bolanle. She and I had nothing in common except our last name. We looked nothing alike neither do our initials. Bolanle is short, fair and robust compared to my tall, dark and lanky. There was a day I was brave enough to correct him after my rationalization of his unexcused able behavior. You would think wining the best English student for three consecutive years and also being one of the top students in the school would make my name an icon, but his man couldn’t be bothered. That day ended with me kneeling down in the sun for three hours because I interrupted him during his lesson.

Students trotted out of the assembly hall after we were dismissed to our various classes. Bolanle cornered me on the staircase.

“Allied, you need to rectify this situation. We need to let the principal know the wrong name was called”.

“I will take care of it”

I made the decision to confess to the principal. He was amicably calm when I told him I was responsible for the crime and not Bolanle. His disbelief echoed in his voice. He knew of my achievements in the school and would not have guessed that a nerdy quiet Allied is capable of breaking serious school violations. With his head abased he declared his judgment. The utmost punishment was my parents being notified of my infamy. My grandmother would be disappointed the most. She recently told my dad that he needed to trust me more.

The rangy bursar was called to thrash me. I was glad that it was done in the privacy of the principal’s office and not in public like the others. My cooking stove was confiscated along with a small bag of rice and a carton of indomine noodles. I was also given a long stone throw portion of dry and stubborn grass to cut. That punishment was for inviting Murktar Yaradua into the girl’s hostel for dinner during extention.

Mr. Adeyemi was called by the principal to see to it that our parents were informed of our recalcitrance. I watched him outside the principal’s office as he dictated to the school secretary what the letter is to say.

“Can you please give me the names of the offenders’ sir, I need to pull out their files to get their home address” she asked

“Sure. The miscreant names are Iyabo Olayinka, Nurudeen odeyemi, Murktar Yaradua, and Bolanle same last name as Allied”.

47 comments:

30+ said...

Shuo, same mistake again, the guy dey smoke ganja or what. Maybe the guy was fixated with Bolanle.

You are honest for owning up.

Olamild said...

Na wa o

Jaycee said...

lolllll...

I don't even want to know how Bolanle's reaction was after her name fell into the offender's list again. She must have wanted to fry u in a hot pot of oil...lol. Allied, so u were mischievious?

BossMack said...

Beautiful.

Jinta said...

I think a cell got fried in Mr Adeyemi's head, he was never going to get it right.

fantasy queen said...

hey, sure u werent using something on the mr adeyemi...lol

gosh i used to hate being called out on assembly, or i'd be so embarassed when i was asked to kneel down outside and everyone could see me
u were allowed to have stoves in school..
it was an abomination to own one, or even have indomie in mine

come to think of it, i miss secondary school and all the good, the bad and the ugly....

fantasy queen said...

@olamild...seems u're stuck for words girl, u've been going 'na wa o' all over bolgsville..lol'

rethots said...

Apparently, in his rage to ensure you are punished he seem'd determined to ensure you ain't identified as the offender.

bumight said...

I think Mr. Adeyemi liked you (u know, as per one of his best students) and his brain just REFUSED to process ur name with the offenders' list.
I love the way u tell the story

Waffarian said...

Heheheheheh! so good. I enjoyed this a lot, especially the "bursar", i thought it was my school that just "forged" titles like that, i swear!

Queen of My Castle said...

I commend you for fessing up. Great story by the way. I can't help but imagine that I am watching scenes from a movie everytime I read your posts. You are one of Blogville's best story-tellers...hands down.

bumight said...

you've been tagged!

Bukenzo said...

LoL. nA real wa o! Nice one. Thanks for checking out my page. Luv always...

Bukenzo said...

You are so tagged!

funmi said...

Hilarious!

see me already feeling sorry for you and then ...Bolanle again!

I cant imagine how that girl must have felt!

great story, greater style of writing!

pamelastitch said...

hmmm girl.....

I no know wetin i go say for this one...

darkelcee said...

haaa, Mr Adeyemi need to get an organizer to collate his thots! lol!

what is wromg with the man self?


Nice one sis

moew blast from the past ok?

enjoy!

Afrobabe said...

LOL..hope that means the news never got to ur folks...shit i was in more trouble in boarding school than you can ever imagine...i had a nack for it..

Afrobabe said...

and ....my friends and i used to walk proudly to the assembly front to receive purnishment amidst cheers from fellow students...lol..am sure those reverend sisters will have a fit if they saw me today!!!

fantasy queen said...

@ afrobabe,y am i not surprised about that eh?
so u went to a catholic sch?now u have to reveal where...

anonymous gal said...

hmm class monitor and the powers they hold. and pple complain about dictators and authoritarians when we know when it started! wit the first taste of power...class monitor.

little miss me said...

i love the way you write,very interesting story + your lucky o,so in the end the letter probably never got to your folks,i think Mr Adeyemi must have had a thing for you lol.

Writefreak said...

Wait till Bolanle and her friends finish you with their eyes! Lol..
You took me back to my secondary school..a strict catholic one where punishment was taken very seriously!
Btw..i've now updated and i tagged you..so visit for details..wicked grin!

KimPossible said...

AWESOME WORK! You are so good lady! Happy Friday to you!

Drop by my spot...interesting topic today.

KimPossible

princesa said...

lol! That Mr adeyemi must have been in love with ur sister.
I hope they didnt repoprt the wrong person to ur folks o!
Merry xmas and a happy new year in advance.

yayi said...

Dumber than a dumbell. Na wah for Mr Adeyemi.
I had my name called at the assembly ground one morning, I pretended as if I was not the one. I quietly left the grounds during prayers and disappeared for the rest of the day. I couldnt stand being flogged with the whole school looking on, and I was in the middle of a big and raging crush. No way!
You were quite courageous.

Afrobabe said...

All over the place love,first one was Benue state,dad wanted me to get a feel of the culture then day school in lag,got in too much trouble and sent back to only girls school in akwa ibom where i finished..lol...roller coaster life.

Sherri said...

the man was drunk on holy water!
lucky break for u in the end.
all this catholic schools sef,
there was a girl in my set that was constantly mistaken for me too.
other than being the same complexion and about the same height, we didn't look anything alike!

thanks for stopping by, off to read the rest.

~Mimi~ said...

ha ha ha ha ha

lawllllllllll!!!

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

lol! you miscreant, you....

Omosewa said...

lolololol...dey never caught us o. How come you were using a whole stove nah, lmao...boiling ring nko?? I hope Bolanles parents didnt land her slaps before she had a chance to explain that it was a mistake. Funny story!

acainto said...

LOL! I still remember the harrowing boarding school days--almost got myself suspended for coming late to assembly one day. God is good, and all things come to pass, including boarding school! Have a great Christmas!

Bukenzo said...

hALLO Madam! Where's the update? Check out my latest post and my message to you.Luv

temmy tayo said...

That was some funny experience.

darkelcee said...

Merry Christmas!

fantasy queen said...

hope u had a merry christmas...
haba...update na...

yayi said...

I wish you a prosperous new year. have fun.
update!!

yayi said...

I wish you a prosperous new year. have fun.
update!!

Isi said...

happy holidays dear!

barb michelen said...

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Orientatednaijababe said...

HAPPY NEW YEAR....

Sherri said...

Happy new year!
declaring 2008 a year of great possibilities and fulfillments for u my lovely sista

Afrobabe said...

happy new yearrrrrr....

Allied said...

@ 30 + - Who know s if he liked Bolanle? But I won’t lie, I only owned up because I knew I can never get away with it. It was hard sha!

@ Olamild – Na wa

@ Jaycee – Well, I think her parents came on visiting day and they did not bring anything for her as punishment. It was settled but I was sad for her. No Jollof rice or goody goody. Also, I was not a mischievous girl oh. I came out of my element time to time.

@ Bossmack – Thanks

@ Jinta – He never did.

@ Fantasy Queen – We were not allowed stoves. It was part of my offence. Secondary school years were fun for me.

@ Rethots – Na so I see am

@ Bumlight – The man did not like me. He even bought up the incident when I was considered for senior prefect.

@ Waffarian - You know Nigerians like Title. So Bursar it is.

@ Queen of my Castle – I am blushing. Thank you very much.

@ Bukenzo – You are Welcome.

@ Funmi – I know Bolanle would have changed her name if she could.

@ Pamelastitch – Lol Its okay

@ Darkelee – Who knows why he can’t learn my name? I did not have a common name infact, we were 2 in the whole school with that name and the other person is a boy.

Allied said...

@ Afrobabe – My folks heard about it a year later. Then it was water under the bridge and all I got was a lecture.

@ Anonymous gal – Why do I get the feeling you did not like your class captain? Well, I did not abuse my power most of the time.

@ Little miss me – Thanks, Mr. Adeyemi despites me. Maybe he did have something for Bolanle or the name Bolane

@ Writefreak – Lol, I don’t see you as a miscreant. You were probably one of the goody two shoes. Teacher’s pet

@ Kim Possible – I will

@ Princesa – Lol. They reported the incident to Bolanle’s folks

@ Yayi – Lol, I did the same but how did you receive your punishment?

@ Sherri – I love your blog

@ Mimi – Long time, how are u?

@ Solomondyelle – Lol, I am a good girl oh,

@ Omosewa – Don’t mind me. The stove would not have been I question if we hadn’t invited the boys to come and eat our “Peshelu”.

@ Acainto – Suspended for coming late to the assembly? Wow, what a steep punishment for a small crime.

@ Temmytayo – Congrats on your wedding oh

@ Isi - Happy New year

@OrientedNaijababe – Happy New Year to you.

your TERC sister said...

Fine girl no pimples...happy new year!
I can relate to a few things on your list lol.

rethots said...

"The ascendancy of a class captain gave me such rights." ...ran from such position back in sec sch (too much responsibilities) only, one can't run forever. Class representative caught up with me in uni (was stuck with it for the duration).