I’m a year older today, and I’ve made my share of mistakes in my life. As much as I will like to always learn from the mistakes of others, I am humanly bond to make mine and learn tremendously from very single one.
Are there things I would have changed in my life? Probably, but I am not so sure because almost every poor choice I made shaped me into the woman I am today and it shouldn’t be surprising to say that I love me. However, there are a few things I wish I knew at some point in my life. It certainly would have made my life easier and less stressed. I am not sharing these things in regret but in hope that others can benefit from my blunders because we cannot live long enough to make them all by ourselves.
People will always have something to say. You don’t have to always listen.
l remember that at 8 years old, I was already 5’5. Aunties and Uncles said “Allied, you are growing too tall, no man will marry you if you grow any taller” Can u believe that? Of course, at that time when it had been instilled in us in school that the greatest achievements for girls were to be a good daughter then a great wife. The latter was going to be difficult if I did not somehow stunt my own growth. So at Age 8, Allied began to fast and pray so as not to grow an inch. Well I am 5’8 right now and I am the shortest in my family. Now all I hear is “if you are just as tall as your sister (5’10) you could have been a model.
All that stuff that’s stressing you out — it won’t matter in 5 years, let alone 15.
There have been many things that have happened to me, professionally and personally, that seem like the end of the world. And while these things were bad, they get blown up in my head so that they become major drama. They caused me to be depressed from time to time. What a waste of time. There are different problems at every stage in life. I remember when my biggest problem was when Kayode said he like omolade in primary 5B and not me. I told myself I will never like any boy again - Yeah right! Another big problem was this Data Structure class in University I couldn’t pass. I was one of the good students in computer science but still I could not pass this100 level course, it took 3 exams before I passed it in my last year. Still with a B+. There was also this crazy boss that was after my life, I thought I needed that job, but in the end, they let me go. It took me four weeks to understand that needed to happen for me to be where I am today. So, whatever those stress might be right now, just realized that it wouldn’t matter a single bit just a few years down the road. Perspective is a good thing to learn.
That skinny will be in vogue.
All those that called me “gbekumoyan” “Igbale” “walking stick” “Letter i” I want to see you now!! Ahh, I suffer oh, Kids and adult can be downright cruel. They called me names just because I was skinny. What didn’t I consume to make me fat – raw eggs, more raw eggs, milk and all other concoctions? Now, some of those *insert not so nice word* people see me now and as say “Allied, please tell me how you stayed your size”? drink raw eggs I say
Saying NO does not mean the end of the world.
I had a problem saying No and people took advantage of me. I had to start saying No, the first practice was telling myself in the mirror – it might sound silly but it worked. Now I am so good at it. Expect to hear a No from me if I have just finish cleaning the kitchen then you tell me to make you Iyan and Egusi. Expect to hear No, if you ask me to pick you up at your friend’s house at 1am on a workday when I am suppose to be at work at 7am. Infact I just said No to my little cousin (he is 1) he wants water, which means I have to stop typing... Okay maybe I am taking the No thing too far. ‘I am coming sweetie’
Just because you can pay the minimum doesn’t mean you can afford the balance.
Pay up your credit card debt and don’t buy so much stuff. My 20-year-old self would probably have read this post years ago and said, “Good advice!” But still I carried a large balance on my credit cards and paid my minimum balance. I was so mad when I got better in Mathematics and figured out how much I paid in interests for the stuff I don’t even own anymore.
A crying man does not equal a sensitive man.
Allied was ‘Mugued’. Just because a man cries when he hurts you, does not mean he is not evil. U know now that I think about it, I think I was just so shocked that he cried freely with me. As par I am Nigerian, I did not know what to do with a crying man except to “pet” him… ‘Sorry’ I say then clean his eyes then bring him water… Lol... I am laughing now, so funny
Six is not bad now. Please lets know what you wish you knew 5 -10 years ago. Like I said earlier, it is better to learn from other’s mistakes.
Wait!! Before you comment, remember to wish me a Happy Birthday :)